Wendy's Pen

Awards Season

2012-02-27T12:35:00.000-08:00

The first couple of months of each year are brought in by a host of Award Shows and Ceremonies. We've had the Emmy's, the Grammy's, the BET Awards, the NAACP Image Awards, and the Oscar's among others. People go through a lot of changes to prepare for "awards season" with the hope of either getting exposure, making money, or just being in the right place at the right time. In the midst of all of this, life waits for no one and keeps on moving. I felt like every week I would turn around and there was another show that gave honor to someone regarding the entertainment industry. Recently we also just had the Basketball All Stars Weekend, so of course we can't forget sports.

Achieving awards can be a good thing, it helps us to measure if we are doing a good job in our chosen profession or field. The dictionary defines an award as a prize or granting a merit due. However, if we do our life's work with an "award" being the only goal, then we need to take a look at our motives and what really stimulates us to get up each day. We should be motivated to be involved with a life's work that is bigger than us. We are all actually pieces of a puzzle and when we find our place, do our work, the award will be the finished product and a legacy that will live long after all of us are gone.

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against awards (giving or receiving). Coming from a background of event planning, many of our jobs were centered around community events giving awards to deserving individuals and companies. Also with my nonprofit, Forgiving For Living, Inc., we also have an annual PLUS Awards (that will be held on April 21st at the Beverly Hills Hotel), but I just wanted to give a little encouragement to many of the workers that are out in the vineyard that may never receive an actual "trophy or plaque" in their hand, don't give up.

I want to close with a saying I often heard growing up in the Baptist Church, "if I can help somebody as I pass along, if I can cheer somebody with a word or song, if I can show somebody, how they are travelling wrong, then my living will not have been in vain." I recently found out that saying came from a song by the one and only, Ms. Mahalia Jackson. Believe in yourself and make it a point to help someone along the journey, they may be your reward and award!

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!
Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5am

Miss Whitney Houston

2012-02-13T05:55:00.000-08:00

Like so many I was hurt and stunned when I heard the news of the death of Whitney Houston. It's amazing how fast news can hit the streets. Since this tragedy occurred there've been mixed emotions and comments floating around between conversations, television and other forms of media communication. However, the overall sentiment has been that no one can take away the fact God gave her a gift and a voice that we will remember forever.

As I sit and write this article, although the autopsy report has been completed, the results have not been released to the general public. Many say and feel that she died of some sort of overdose or abuse of a controlled substance. Although it is questioned if she ever truly recovered from her substance abuse, she was still loved her, and many wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I even heard comments on the red carpet at the Grammy's saying "she was trying...give her that."

I feel that at this point who are any of us to point the finger or pass judgment on what she did or did not do, but rather examine our own lives while we still have breath to breathe and can make a change. If you think about it, we may have a different "addiction," but for the grace of God any of us can be taken out in the blink of an eye.

This past week has been a heavy in so many ways. Even in my own life it has been a week of ups and downs, however, each week I try to check in with people who help me stay centered and focused on the big picture, and one of those people is my "Uncle Mack." This week when we talked he said something very simple, but was exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment..."Just Don't Stop Trying!" That simple, don't stop trying. So my closing words this week to you are whatever you are doing, whatever you are going through, just don't stop trying. Tomorrow can be a better day.

"We will always love you Whitney."

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-18T17:18:00.000-08:00

As I sit to write this Christmas article my heart is full. When I went to church this morning I was reminded of the true meaning of Christmas and the necessity for those of us that proclaim to be Christians to not back down during this time of year for what we believe.

When I went to Wikipedia to look of the meaning of "Christmas" it stated that it was translated "Christ's mass," which is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ generally celebrated on December 25th." Many of us are afraid to offend people so we have stopped saying "Merry Christmas" and have replaced it with "Happy Holidays." Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with saying happy holidays to someone, but if you are a Christian don't be ashamed of who's birthday it is.

Reflecting on the fact that Christmas is to represent the birth of Christ then we should honor him by giving gifts to Him by giving to those in need. Take the light off yourself and put the spotlight on Him by giving to someone in need or an organization that you know touches the community.

In closing, don't be tempted to put "X-mas" either. The world would want us to "x" Christ right out of the picture. Would you want someone to "x" you out on your birthday? I think the bigger question is would you want Christ to "x" you out of heaven? If you are a believer then stand up and be counted. Don't be afraid of what others may say about you, after all they won't care what you think about their beliefs. The good thing about one's beliefs is the fact they are personal and you have the right to believe what is in your heart.

I know I would hate to have to ask Jesus to forgive me because I didn't want to offend someone and so I just left Him out of the picture. Jesus is the Reason for the Season!

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Protect Our Children No Matter What

2011-12-11T18:16:00.001-08:00

Many of us have read or heard about the sex abuse scandals whether it involves the church, colleges or sports. Conversations have ranged from how can something like that happen, to can you believe a "man of God" could even fathom such a thing. I haven't said much about these stories, but I think it's time for me to step up and give my thoughts regarding a couple of cases in the news as of late.

Let's start with the story regarding Jerry Sandusky the ex - Penn State coach arrested on sex abuse charges. He has been accused of being a pedophile who preyed upon young boys under the guise of being a "do-gooder." To date as I write this he has been charged with assaulting 10 victims. He is facing a total of 40 counts of child sexual abuse.

In the same breath in another state we have Bishop Eddie Long from New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Georgia taking a brief leave of absence from his church to take care of "family business" after being accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with several young men. It has been declared that he settled with them after months of mediation.

My point in discussing all of this is to say sexual abuse against children is an outrage and Forgiving For Living, Inc., although it focuses on young ladies and women, believes that abuse of any kind and against anyone is a disgrace and should be dealt with. Especially when it comes to children. Parents are going to have to be more aware and mindful of where their children are and who they are spending time with. We can't assume just because of someone's title and status they can automatically be trusted. Why do minors need to be spending so much unsupervised attention with adults in the first place?

As it relates to the question or thought that abuses must have been abused and that's why they do what they do. Hogwash! I know plenty of people who have experienced pain or abuse as children that have never hurt anyone, especially children. That's an excuse and outright disgusting. Excuses are not accepted. If you've been hurt or wounded, get help. Don't perpetuate negative cycles. Let's hold others accountable. Let's protect our children.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Mother Nature

2011-12-03T09:38:00.000-08:00

Recently winds hit the Southland drastically like I can't remember and I'm a lifelong resident of Southern California. Over the last several months I have spent time and money updating, improving and fixing up my home. It's amazing how one night can change what you've worked on for months.

The morning after the major winds swept through the city my daughter called me and shared how her car was damaged and that she wasn't sure where to start. After we calmed nerves, assessed the damage (and of course I was praying as mother's do), we put together the plan to get the ball moving with the city, the insurance company, and everything else she would need to accomplish to get her life back in order and return to work.

On the same morning my son was due into the International Terminal at LAX from Australia, but his flight had a lot of challenges, he was re-routed from Sydney to Melbourne back to Sydney and finally into LAX many hours later.

What all of this has taught me is there are many things we just don't have control over, especially when it comes to mother nature. What it also made crystal clear is that we cannot put our hope or faith in material things. Close to three decades ago when I moved to Los Angeles for college, I attended Mount Zion Baptist Church where Dr. E.V. Hill was the pastor and he used to say, "wear the things of this world loosely." In other words don't let them control you.

Health, love, life and family are truly the things that we need to honor and hold onto. Let go of the things that so entangle your life and keep you from enjoying what really matters. Learning to let go of things and "release" is the third step from the ten steps of "Healing Without Hate: How To Forgive To Live." TM

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Black Friday

2011-11-24T18:14:00.001-08:00

The holidays are in full swing. The turkey was carved and many of us over ate and we still have the rest of the holidays to go. (Soon I will be writing about how we have to forgive ourselves for over indulging and eating too much). As soon as the last piece of pumpkin pie was cut, attention turned to what is called "Black Friday." Why is it called "Black Friday?" The term originated from the day the stock market hit a catastrophe on September 24, 1869 and the markets crashed following a failed attempt by some financiers who tried to corner the gold market. Making it a dark day and time in our history.

Since then the term "Black Friday" has taken a new twist and turn. This day always occurs the day after Thanksgiving and starts the official rush for Christmas shopping. Retailers now refer to it by this term because it's when many go from being in the red to turning a profit and going black. (This is one of the few times that I've noticed when something that effects the general public is referred to as "black" with a positive outcome.)

As I sit to write this piece, I just hung up from talking to a friend and she was telling me she needed to go because she would be getting up and meeting other friends at 1:00am (Friday Morning) to be part of the crowd that saves lots of money from all of the store sales. I have never been one to participate in such chaos because uncontrolled crowds actually get on my nerves, plus I try to plan my shopping and giving throughout the year.

The point that I want to make is no matter how many savings that go on during the holidays, if you don't have the budget to shop, don't. Don't let commercialism get you caught up where you are not only NOT in the "black" with your checking account, but you also have no "green" in your pocket.

Remember, at the end of the day, this is the season where you can give in so many ways. One of the most important ways is with your time and expertise. Give of yourself. As I have often quoted, "people really don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." At the end of the day toys will go in the trash, people will forget what you bought, but they will never forget when you've touched their heart.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Hermain Cain & Women Matter!

2011-11-14T16:17:00.000-08:00

We've all heard and read about Presidential candidate Herman Cain and his treatment of women. There have been several allegations of one form or another regarding sexual harassment and his abuse towards women that have worked with him. When I first started hearing these comments, I didn't give it much thought and just figured okay here go with the "political wars." However, the more you hear woman after woman come forth giving her story and testimony, there comes a time when one must listen. Don't get me wrong, I feel oftentimes in the public arena there are people that come forth to get their five minutes of fame anyway they can, however, I know when a woman is willing to go public on such a matter as this, we must listen.

What really caught my attention is when Mr. Cain's wife, Gloria came forth and said, "he totally respects women." My question is this the truth, or is this a woman/wife standing by her man? She goes forth to state that after reading the allegations she knew it could not be true, otherwise he would have to have a split personality to do the things that were said.

Statistics show that one out of every three women worldwide will be physically, sexually or otherwise abused or harassed during their lifetime with rates reaching 70 percent in some countries. This type of violence ranges from misappropriate touching, rape to domestic abuse and acid burnings to dowry deaths and so-called honor killings. Violence against women and girls is an extreme human rights violation, a public health epidemic and a barrier to solving global challenges such as extreme poverty, HIV/AIDS and famine. It devastates the lives of millions of women and girls — in peacetime and in conflict — and knows no national or cultural barriers.

Violence against women is wrong and must be stopped. What many people don't know is that sexual abuse or harassment can be a major cause of poverty and a huge barrier to economic opportunity - it keeps women from standing up for themselves, getting an education, working, and earning the income they need to lift their families out of poverty and to a better way of life.

My point is, we have to all be mindful of such allegations and take everything serious when it violates a woman's right and safety against such treatment.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Planetree

2011-11-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

Over the years working with my nonprofit, Forgiving For Living, Inc., I've had the privilege of working with and helping various people that crossed my path and came into my life. What I truly know for sure is when you sow into the lives of others, it definitely comes full circle back into your life. What's interesting is it may not always be from the person you plant a seed, but good works always blossom somewhere.

This past week I had an opportunity to go with one of my girls, Azure Antoinette, to a conference in Nashville at the Grand Ole Opry and it was a surprise of a lifetime. Besides the venue being amazing with superb service, relationships were formed that I believe will last a lifetime. First of all, whoever thought that Nashville was boring and just for people who were "country" well, let me tell you....I became country! As a brother and sister team once coined, "I'm a little bit of country, and a little bit of rock and roll." I'm a "little bit of country, a little bit of gospel and a lot of R& B!" The blessing of attending this conference was I met some wonderful and exciting people doing great work with helping people heal through Patient Centered Care and who really want to put caring back into helping others.

The conference was put on by a group called Planetree. They're a nonprofit organization that provides education and information in a collaborative community of healthcare organizations, facilitating efforts to create patient centered care in healing environments. As a global catalyst and leader Planetree promotes the development and implementation of innovative models of healthcare that focus on healing and nurturing body, mind and spirit.

For those of you that know me and my mission, this was right up my alley. I truly believe that forgiveness and letting go of the things that so entangle our lives is a step towards healing the body, mind and spirit. Research shows that people who hold onto hate, bitterness and anger increase the probability of increased health problems such as drug use, alcoholism and cancer to name a few. According to an article by Elizabeth Scott, M.S., on "The Benefits of Forgiveness," she states: A study found that forgiveness to be positively associated with five measures of health: physical symptoms, medications used, sleep quality, fatigue, and somatic complaints. For those of us who desire to help others, this is a check up to look in the mirror and make sure we've let go of unnecessary "stuff" from our past.

In closing, thank you Jim, Heidi, Michael, Sonya and all of you at Planetree for planting a seed in me that I look forward to see how it will blossom and grow. Keep up the good work!

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Wandering Generalities Oppose to a Meaningful Specific

2011-10-28T20:00:00.001-07:00

The older we get the more it seems like time just keeps on passing us by. I was recently reflecting with a friend and I told him I just turned "50". He reminded me that it was almost two months ago! How did eight weeks fly so fast? As we continued to talk he said, make sure you don't fall into "wandering generalities oppose to a meaningful specific," with the things you've set your mind to do.

Okay, after I stopped to give his expression some thought, I had to think about how deep a simple phrase can really be. Honestly this made me reflect on everything I currently had on my list and reviewed it to make sure I wasn't just being "busy," but actually taking care of "business." Now of course it's important to be balanced and have fun in life, but also remember what your goals are and what you are purposed to do.

I've started to notice in some of the conversations I'm having with friends, clients and new acquaintances, many are disappointed with themselves for not really going after what's in their heart to accomplish. What I've observed is there are as many different reasons as people for why they aren't going after what they really want. The three biggest reasons seem to be fear, or they don't believe they deserve it, or they feel they've waited too long and it's too late.

My response is first, fear is "false evidence appearing real." Don't give into fear. It cripples people all the time and it is actually the opposite of faith or believing. Secondly, you must believe in yourself and what you were put on this earth to do. No matter what you've heard otherwise. Third, as long as you, we, us have breath in our bodies it is NEVER too late to go after what you really want. Learn as much as you can about what it is you want to do, find out who else is doing it, and start surrounding yourself with people of like mind.

I believe if you really don't fight and try to make your dreams a reality you will be mad at yourself. If that happens, you will wake up one day asking yourself for forgiveness. Always remember nothing beats a failure but a try!

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Gaddafi's Death

2011-10-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

Most of us are aware that Muammar Gaddafi, Longtime dictator of Libya was killed. They are still investigating all of the details pertaining to his death, but video tapes showed graphic images where his lifeless body was being dragged through the streets and over pavement with lots of blood. What's interesting is the men that were tormenting him chanted continuously "God is great," while they continued to beat him. I ask is this conduct just? Is it moral?

With all that is going on throughout the world and across the globe the question of "justice" could be asked. Justice means the quality of being just, righteousness, or moral rightness. It is the moral principle determining just conduct.

I am not a political correspondent nor do I even want to pretend to be so, therefore the main purpose of my comments are centered around the question of humanity and what is right. As I was raising my children, I always taught them that right is right if no one is doing it, and wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it. The question I pose is what are we doing? Is it right?

President Obama did address the death of Gaddafi in a press conference. He said that Libya won their revolution. Gadaffi was known as one of the world's longest serving dictators and now he is no more. He was accused of crimes against humanity, but the way he was murdered was that humane? With all of the violence and hatred that has been stirring for all this time did this action bring peace?

Forgiveness has to be part of any dialogue and solution if we want to even have a hope of a better future for the next generations to come. I'm not saying that Gaddafi (or anyone else for that matter) was correct in his actions, but have we searched and sought all forms of understanding and possible reconciliation?

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Keeping the Peace

2011-10-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

This week my heart and mind have been heavy as I thought about what to share. I very much desire for my blog to be entertaining, educational and enlightening. But at the end of the day, I must also write about what I feel and believe. Recently I've noticed some negativity among people I hoped to respect, even people I would consider leaders in the community. One thing I know for sure, no one rises to the top by knocking someone else down.

I really believe it is a shame when an individual publicly humiliates another person, especially when there's been a history, friendship and even a working relationship that once existed. I ask how can someone say they are an advocate for peace and yet they try to destroy another person's reputation and possibly even their livelihood? If you have a problem or a disappointment with a person, it might not be a bad idea to just pull them aside and help them.

To confirm my thoughts about this week's article, what I found interesting is when I was in church this morning the pastor talked about judgment and being careful when we pass judgment on another. After all, we've all heard the saying, "he who is without sin cast the first stone." So understand, I am not passing judgment, I just want to give all of us something to think about. Leaders construct not destroy.

Of course, I had to look at the bible before I brought closure to this thought. James 4:1 says, " where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?" Usually when we try to breakdown another it is because of pride. We know pride comes before a fall...In the book of James, he goes further to say, "If anyone among you thinks he's religious, but does not bridle his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless."

In closing, I just want to say, if we profess peace, then we need to stop fighting with one another and practice what we preach. Figure it out, work it out with your fellow brother or sister. Life is short and we should build up instead of destroying others. Extend the olive branch, believe me if you're sincere it works. This step can lead to forgiveness and that can eventually lead to peace.

"...that old law about an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Challenge To Reinvent Oneself!

2011-09-12T13:56:00.000-07:00

I've always loved the month of September. Not only is it the month I celebrate my birthday, but it has always represented the freshness of new beginnings. As I've shared before, it traditionally was the time when kids go back to school and new school clothes were purchased. It was also when new school supplies were bought, including stacks of paper and notebooks, new sharpened pencils, and everything else that would go with having a good beginning for a successful school year. By the way, I love new notebooks and pretty writing pens.

The weather also starts to take a change. It begins to cool off and a wind picks up that brushes across our face. We often look in the closet for that light jacket, blazer or sweater to keep us warm. We pay more attention to our wardrobe during this time because there's a lot of "mixing & matching." I think it's the time of year where we feel no matter what happened over the summer we still have a chance to make it a great year before the holidays take over.

I have decided to take a personal public challenge during this season and look at my life (turning 50 will do this to you) and see where do I really need to stop and make a change or improve. I all this the "Reinvention of Wendy." I don't plan to do anything drastic, but just subtle changes internally and externally so that I won't look up in a few years and not be happy where I am, how I feel about the choices I made and did I stop to take time to be the best that I can be.

I have decided to start with the following:
* Assess where I am with my convictions, commitments and my word. What do I need to do to get where I want to be?
* Simply stated get off my duff and really start an exercise plan that I will stay with including eating healthier and living like I want to live.
* Do a better job of lending a helping hand to those in need that I can touch. Dr. E.V. Hill used to say, "if you can don't lie, if you can't don't try!" Pretty to the point, if you can do something give it your best, otherwise leave it alone.

I challenge you to examine your own life and see what needs a little attention. The choices you make in life ultimately determine your destiny!

"Healing Without Hate: It's a Choice. It's a Lifestyle. Pass It On!"

visit www.wendygladney.com or www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. You can also hear Wendy on 102.3 KJLH Radio on Friday Mornings around 5:00am.

Turning 50

2011-08-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

It's really interesting how birthdays can make you stop and reflect. Especially when it's one of the "big" ones. As I sit and write this week's column the clock is ticking and I'm about to turn 50 years old. Truth be told, I really don't mind and I'm in a better place than I've been in years, but the thought of being a half century makes a girl feel a little old. What's interesting several of my friends and colleagues keep sending me little messages that say, "welcome to the club."

After reflecting on the comments, I began to think about what is this "club" and who are the members? First of all the fact that we've made it to the half way mark of a century is something in itself. When I reflect back on my own personal life and the fact that I was born in my mother's sixth month of pregnancy and weighing just a couple of pounds is a miracle within itself. Compounding other life challenges and beating cancer all mean that I should be thankful to be at this point....and I am!

Most of us that have reached this milestone have experienced life, marriage, sometimes divorce, children and possibly death of loved ones. Hopefully we've learned what is important not to sweat the small stuff. Taking care of one's health, enjoying and cherishing loved ones, and helping others are some of the greatest simple pleasures we can experience and yet we often take them for granted or let them slip away.

As I started sharing in last weeks' column, I am really on a kick about the process of reinventing oneself, while forgiving yourself for the things you possibly didn't do right. Most of us have heard the saying that you attract what you put out. So the question is what are you putting out into the world? If you say you want better health, then start slowly cutting back on the things you shouldn't eat and start slowly walking a little every day. If you say you want friends, then show yourself friendly. If you say you want success, then start today doing one thing that can put you closer to your goals. Remember you can't expect something new if you keep doing the same old thing. Reinventing means letting go of the unnecessary things and looking at life from a new perspective. For me the second half of life is going to be beautiful and happy!

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

The Need For A Coach No Matter Where You Are In Life

2011-08-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

In life no matter how successful one may be, or even "appear" to be, I've learned it's always important to sharpen one's tools, learn some new things and listen to a coach. I feel like I've been going through a growing stage and "transition" for quite some time (let's even say a couple of years). What started as "downsizing" when the economy hit our company in 2009, has now turned into a whole new way of life.

The first thing I learned is less is not such a bad thing. At one time I was responsible for up to 7 employees, full overhead of a large office, workers comp, insurance, you name it. Letting go of some of that not only lightened my load, but freed up my mind to think on things that I really wanted to focus on (such as my non-profit, Forgiving For Living, Inc.). Furthermore, my life has changed because my children are grown (and my son has now moved to Australia), so the day to day mothering is not like it used to be. Let's say I am learning the joy of "skype" and "whatsapp" and "texting" in a whole new way! So I am in the process of "reinventing" myself and how it ties into the subject of "forgiveness" and helping others.

I recently read in one of my devotional books that when God is doing something in your life, we might feel frustrated or even confused, but don't get weary and stay open because with great things comes great faith and dependence on Him. I know He is leading me to a new cornerstone in my life and that it is important for me to not feel afraid. What's also true is this process or journey definitely includes the importance to forgive. Forgiveness is what helps to create an extraordinary life from ordinary people. I don't know about you, but I am ready to walk in being "extra" in a good way.

In closing, when I looked up the meaning of "reinvent," it stated that it is "to recast something familiar or old into a different form." It also said, "to create anew or make over." All to say, it doesn't mean what we were doing was wrong or bad, it just means it's time to take something we've gotten used to and tweak it into something better. I'm ready....are you? More to come on how we can reinvent ourselves and the power forgiveness has to get us there.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Reinvention

2011-08-18T18:49:00.001-07:00

Coming soon....learn about how "Forgiveness" and "Reinvention" collide and mak your life better!

Blessings

Wendy

Sheryl Sherrod

2010-07-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

This past week in the news we heard a lot about Sheryl Sherrod, the former Georgia Director of Rural Development. It was determined that she was unjustly forced to resign from her position after a segment of a speech she made at a NAACP event was placed out on the internet. The piece positioned her as a "reverse racist" in regards to a white farmer.

What's interesting is before all the details were put on the table she was asked (while driving her car) to "pull over to the side of the road and resign" and the NAACP at the time agreed with the forced resignation (they later retracted their position).

CNN and the Atlanta Constitution Journal correctly reported that the video was a misrepresentation of the full speech and that she should be judged on the entire speech. After all of these details, along wth other items that came to the surface, Ms. Sherrod was offered her job back.

The question is should she forgive those who jumped to conclusions before viewing and researching all of the details? Also should she take her job back? What's interesting is the white farmer she supposedly was racist against came out to her defense. Mrs. Eloise Spooner (the wife of the said farmer) even went as far as to say that Ms. Sherrod helped them save their farm!

In conclusion, I also found it interesting that details came out that Ms. Sherrod's father was killed in a racially motivated murder. when she was asked about this she said, "If I could move beyond race, if I could move beyond the ability to try to hate, and when you look at what happened to us, when you look at what was done, if I could move beyond that to a life of love and service, we all should be able to do it. And that's my message."

Remember...."Forgiveness is not an occasional act...it is an attitude!"

www.forgivingforliving.com

What does BP Need to do to Seek Forgiveness From the People of the Gulf Coast

2010-06-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we were talking about the various current events of the world and their relation to the topic of "forgiveness." Of course we couldn't help but bring up the oil problem along the Gulf Coast and what is BP doing to help remedy the situation. How are they dealing with the necessary healing and seeking forgiveness from the people of the Gulf Coast?

Give us your opinion on the steps you think BP can put in place to start the healing process???

Let us hear from you...

Wendy ~

Desiree Rogers White House Social Secretary

2010-03-02T10:08:00.001-08:00

I'm sure many of you heard that the darling Ms. Desiree Rogers, White House Social Secretary for President Obama recently stepped down and she is being replaced by Julianna Smoot.

After coming under fire for allowing an uninvited couple, Tareq & Michaele Salahi entrance into a White House Affair back in November the pressure on her performance has been on! The question I want to pose is do you think she should have resigned or do you think she should have been forgiven and given another opportunity to prove herself?

The sticky part is this breached the security of our President....this is different than someone just sneaking into a local party. Then on top of things the couple placed photos from the event on their facebook page!

Give me your thoughts...

Blessings
Wendy

Forgiving When You Feel They Are Wrong

2010-01-29T15:46:00.001-08:00

This morning on KJLH I spoke about the importance of Forgiveness and I used a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., "We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There's some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us!"

I went on to say that we need to be careful to show love and forgiveness to all because we never know when the shoe may be on ther other foot (our feet).....

I received a lot of text messages and voice messages after I talked about that because in the headlines right now in Inglewood and the LA area there's the whole piece about how Mayor Dorn of Inglewood resigned....and there were many who felt he deserved it and that they couldn't forgive him....well....my comment to that would be, forgiveness has nothing to do with judging if someone is right or wrong...or even guilty....it's about letting the system do what it is going to do and possibly even freeing oneself. The thing is....when someone does something wrong...and they know it....they will judge themselves....

What do you think???

Blessings
Wendy

In 2010 Let's Begin Again!!!!

2010-01-12T14:57:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! It's been a while since I came out and posted something on my blog. I am truly sorry....where does time go? For those of you that read the Los Angeles Sentinel we are changing things up a bit in our column....we are now not only sharing tid bits about what's happening around town, but also sharing words of encouragement to help you forgive and truly move on with a new perspective on life...check us out. We're also changing our flow on KJLH 102.3 on Friday Mornings at 5am with Dominique DiPrima on the Front Page. She's letting us fly and share tips on Forgiveness and how to help make our community a better place. So I'm sending out lots of love to both the Los Angeles Sentinel and KJLH 102.3 Radio!!!

At the top of the year it's always a good time to set new goals and objectives on what you want in your life. We encourage you to put "forgiveness" at the top of your list! Who knows someone may decide to give you a second chance as well!

Blessings ~

Wendy

Tiger Woods asks for Forgiveness....

2009-12-11T16:44:00.000-08:00

Forgiving For Living has for years understood the need for forgiveness and importance it plays in personal healing. Today Tiger Woods sent a release stating "Tiger Woods taking hiatus from golf..." because he needs to have time for his family to heal!

Tiger....we recommend "Healing Without Hate....How To Forgive To Live."

Tiger's Apology

http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200912117801012/news/

Let's keep him and his family in our prayers....there but by the grace of God go many....be careful when you judge. Yesterday I attended my godfather's funeral and a statement was made...."if you can't help someone...don't try and hurt them."

Blessings
Wendy ~

Rain....But the Sun will still shine....

2009-12-07T11:53:00.000-08:00

It's been a moment since I've written something on my blog....probably because there's been so much going on over the past few weeks....for one, we moved out of our Pasadena office and now we have an office in the Inland Empire and one in Los Angeles...but it takes a lot of work to move an office and also to break it into two offices....but we made it.

Also during this time my son became very ill and I had to go get him from college, bring him home and nurse him back to health. We went to the emergency hospital because he had a temperature of 103 degrees....we were actually afraid that he might of had the swine flu....but he didn't. Thank you Lord!

Then my mother and my two sisters and I took a nice family trip to Turks 'n Caicos (this was very special because we had never taken a family trip together every just the four of us!!!!). To that I was very grateful.

Then when we got back and as we began preparing for "ThanksGiving" a dear friend of mine by the name of Avery Clayton (from the Mayme Clayton Library & Museum) www.wsbrec.org passed away suddenly....(by the way for those of you who may read this....his Memorial Service will be on Saturday, December 19th at AGAPE off Slauson in Culver City)....in lieu of flowers they are asking for donations to the Museum....please visit their website to learn more.

Then, this past week my godfather "Rev. Bennie Clay" passed away in his sleep...so we will have his homegoing service this Thursday in Riverside at Park Avenue Baptist Church.

As you can see, things have been busy, full of change, and although it is raining today as I write this blog....I feel at peace and I know all is well and will be well....and the sun will shine....and forgiveness is not an issue for this week....just life ~

Blessings
Wendy

New Beginnings

2009-11-17T19:47:00.000-08:00

Life is interesting because no matter how long we've been on this journey, it seems that different situations cause us to have to stop, focus and start over. This could be true as it relates to relationships, jobs, or friendships to name a few. What happens when you wake up one day and you realize that you've been working hard and charting your course and God says it's time to make a shift and go in a different direction?

The answer to me is clear....be obedient. Just make sure you know to which voice you are truly listening to. Now, if you make a mistake and listen to the wrong voice and you made a wrong or bad decision....FORGIVE yourself and move forward.

The word tells us to let go of the past and press towards the future....it's never too late for a new beginning.

Blessings

Wendy ~

Trust!

2009-10-27T15:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this week's blog will really has anything directly to do with "forgiveness" but it is something that's been on my heart and mind. I have been going through quite a bit in the past couple of months.....let's just say personally & professionally my life has been a bit crazy and at times turbulent. BUT through it all....this has been one of the best growth periods of my life in a very long time. I'm truly beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The advice I would like to share this week is be patient no matter what you may be going through. Trust God and believe that He knows what's best for you, and be willing to listen! Through this process we often sometimes have to deal with the subject of forgiveness, whether it is regarding another person, or ourselves...or a decision that we made.

Sometimes having to be broken only puts us in the place where only faith can bring you through. Trust!

Blessings
Wendy

Getting Over Being Sick While Working On A Big Event!

2009-10-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we push ourselves because deadlines cause us to go to the limit. It's important that we try to stop and pace ourselves so that we don't get run down and end up having to forgive yourself for not taking care of yourself.

I am trying to be more balanced on all facets of my life. I enjoy what I do and I thank God everyday for the life He gives me - even in the ups & downs....I hope you are able to feel the same way. If you're not on that same page, then try and start taking steps to help you get there.

Blessings
Wendy

Correction...Misunderstanding...

2009-10-05T13:23:00.000-07:00

I wrote a piece on my blog last week about the Russians and President Obama....what we've now found out is that they weren't snubbing him. Sorry! With technology the way that it is and the fact that we can oftentimes only see a "piece" of something, or understand a piece of something causes us to jump to conclusions....another lesson learned...and I'm sorry for passing off misinformation. Please FORGIVE me....

Blessings
Wendy

Racism...Russia...Our President

2009-10-02T11:53:00.000-07:00

Friends...I was out of Facebook and I saw a video clip on my cousin Stephen's page ( that was actually sent to him by my daughter Courtney)....and it showed how many of the Russians would not shake OUR President's hand!!!! I'm not liking this....I'm not feeling this...and to be quite honest it's disturbing.

However, after I paused for a bit, I had to go back to my center and it continues to become more and more clear to me that Forgiveness is a universal problem....across all borders....across all oceans...across all ethnicities.....across everything!

So let's pray for those that hate, especially those that are blind to truth!

Blessings
Wendy

Always Challenged In The Area of Your Purpose

2009-09-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

Why is it we are always challenged in the very area we've been called to serve? Is it to help us stay humble? Is it to help us stay abreast of what is really happening and to stay connected? Anyway, what I've learned is to never say what you won't do & never judge others by what you say you wouldn't do...you may just be asking for forgiveness!!!!

Blessings
Wendy

Keep Looking Through the Front Window

2009-09-19T18:48:00.000-07:00

When I think about the word "forgiveness" I've learned that things will happen to us no matter what. Some that we may cause, and some just because we were born....but we must always remember to take responsibility for the circle of life that we contribute to.

When things get us down and we don't know what to do....just keep looking through the front window. There's a reason why the front window in a car is larger than the rear view mirror! We may have to glance back from time to time....but stay focused.

Wendy ~

Rancho Mirage

2009-09-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

I've been down in Rancho Mirage for the last several days at a Timeshare I invested in approximately 6 years ago. The weather has been delightful and pleasant and I've been really enjoying myself, while also doing some work here and there.

I've had a couple of highlights since I've been down here....for starters on Monday night when I arrived, my cousins on my father's side...."The Jessie's" had what I thought was just a family BBQ to celebrate Labor Day, but what it really turned out to be was a birthday party for little ole me with family I hadn't seen in over 20 years....they found me through Facebook (I like Facebook).

Also while I've been down here, a very dear life long friend since college (close to 30 years ago....) was kind and sent me a beautiful bouqet of flowers....it is nice to be remembered!!!

Now I know you may say what does all of this have to do with "Forgiveness???" well, directly nothing, but indirectly family & friends could not stay close or come back together if thru time we don't let go of some things that may block growth along the way....which is another form of forgiveness.

Also while I've been down here, I started reading a book my children gave me for my birthday by Desmond Tutu called, "No Future Without Forgiveness." I still have a ways to go regarding the book, but so far it is full of information and things to make you think...Mr. Tutu begins to share about Apartheid, Slavery, the Holocost & the disenfranchised people around the world and why we as a human race must learn to forgive if we are to have a future.....your neighbor is closer than you think!

There are a few people in this life that I would like to meet before we all make our transition....and one of them would be Mr. Desmond Tutu. Thank you for being a shining example and a light for Forgiveness!

Well, more to come....just some morning thoughts. If you have any comments, please feel free to respond....

Blessings
Wendy

Birthday Full of Love

2009-09-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

It's true....what a difference a day can make! This past Friday (September 4th) was my birthday and I started out with a little attitude, so I needed to make some personal adjustments. As the morning progressed, the day began to be great and delightful. I was surprised to a wonderful birthday celebration with lots of my favorite things, places and people. I enjoyed great food and loved ones while resting on a yacht with a sunset and sunrise to die for!!!!

I also realize more and more the difference a good nights rest can make on ones perspective. So as we travel on this road called life and we have to deal with ourselves and others....take a step back and really look at a situation. Try and see where you may have gone wrong and what you can do to help make a situation better. Sometimes things aren't as bad as they may seem at first, especially if we try to work through it.

This morning my Aunt shared her devotion with me "it is easy to find something wrong with everyone, but love covers a multitude of sins. Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins" (and can help you with forgiveness). 1 Peter 4:8

Forgiving to Another Level

2009-09-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess when you say you stand for something or care about something you will truly be tried and tested. Over the past couple of days I have truly realized that people are not always who and what they say they are. Not that any of us are always on point...but complete deceit isn't called for.

I recently found out that someone that I thought was a friend, basically really isn't. I guess that's okay, but it still hurts when you realize that someone has been lying to you, no telling for how long....

Well, tomorrow is my birthday and I refuse to stay sad, down or anything negative. I am grateful for another day and another year and for all of those that do care and are sincere. So once again, to be forgiven, we must forgive. However, I've also learned in life that you can forgive, but that doesn't mean you have to stay in that same place!

Change...Adjustments....Shift!

Blessings
Wendy

Global & International Forgiveness Day(s)!

2009-08-30T16:23:00.000-07:00

Hey...doing this blog I am running into all types of information. On Facebook I read through "Lucy Florence" that August 5th is "International Forgiveness Day" & August 27th is "Global Forgiveness Day!" Isn't that amazing?!?!?!?! I never knew that!!! The message of both days basically boils down to giving and receiving apologies of anything from the past.

The good thing is that even though those two days are now passed (but we do still have 2 more days in August)...forgiveness is something that can be given and received at anytime! So pause and take a moment to think about if there's anyone that you can offer forgiveness to....or that you can ask forgiveness from?? It's never too late.

By giving and receiving the act of forgiveness we help make things better all the way around. Something to ponder...

Blessings
Wendy

Today I Don't Feel My Best

2009-08-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

Today has not been one of my better days. I woke up feeling a bit under the weather and I am having car issues. Nothing seemed to go the way I had planned or laid out for the day. However, after dealing with changing schedules and appointments, waiting for AAA to arrive to tow my car to the shop, and realizing the $$$ that it was going to cost me to get everything fixed on and with my car (which was enough for me to have to FORGIVE someone for)....my daughter said to me "Mom" let's go visit Christy (she's like a niece to me) in the hospital and see Brayden (her newborn son)....what could be a better way to overcome issues in one's life than to look into the eyes of a newborn and the innocence and beauty only God could give.

I just wanted to share ~

Blessings
Wendy

2009-08-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

Well today has been a bit challenging to say the least. First of all my car went out yesterday and I won't have time to even put it into the shop until next week because of my schedule...but today I had to deal with some tax issues and talking about "Forgiving For Living..." when you learn someone has messed you up and yet you have to go on and let it go....forgiveness can be a challenge.

Has anyone every experienced this before?

Just sharing and releasing...have a good evening.

Wendy

What does the word "Forgiveness" mean to you?

2009-08-16T18:49:00.001-07:00

Hello...It's a calm Sunday evening and I thought that it would be a good time for me to come out and send another post. I actually posted on my Facebook page the question about what does Forgiveness mean to you....and what would you do if you were never forgiven for something you had done?

The answers were very interesting....what some felt was the meaning of "Forgiveness"

* Love
* Free
* A Live Saving Tool
* Peace
* Beauty
* Grace
* Mercy
* Jesus
* God
* Courage
* Act as if it never happened to you
* Empowerment
* Allowing the person that wronged you to evolve into a better person

What do you think the word Forgiveness means to you? I would love to hear your response...

Blessings
Wendy Gladney

No More Procrastinating....Forgiveness

2009-08-14T17:04:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to start my own blog where I can share my thoughts and feelings about the topic of "forgiveness." I wasn't really sure how to do this so of course, as many parents, I had to ask my daughter to help me. So here we are! By the way....thank you Courtney!

Thus far most of my public life has centered around the subject of "event planning & public relations." However, there's always been a more subtle or private side of me that deals with real issues of forgiveness. This blog will be where I open up about those matters and hopefully others will feel compelled to do the same.

So....I look forward to us traveling on this journey together and hopefully discovering how to release and forgive others....and in the process freeing ourselves!