"Have Reality Shows Gone Too Far?"

Have Reality Shows gone too far? When we say it’s “Fall Season” that’s actually a pretty strong play on words. Why do we care more about sensationalism then sensitivity? Is the price of fame really worth the cost? Many people don’t know, but I have a 25 year plus history working in the entertainment industry. In my early 20’s I was a working actress doing movies, television and commercials. I never became famous, but I worked enough to receive benefits and to be a regular on various sit-coms and night time dramas.



I live a public life between community work, being a writer, speaking and working on the radio. I’ve learned oftentimes the way things appear may not always be as they truly are. Perception can be one’s reality, but when perception is clouded it can start a long string of misconceptions and deceptions. There comes a time in life when we all must go back to the basics and deal with facts and not just someone’s opinion or message.



The question we must consider is what is our core? What is our truth? What is the foundation we stand on that forms the basis of how we live our lives, raise our families and do the things we do. Do we do the necessary research when our gut tells us something isn’t right? What do we read? What do we watch on television? The bottom line is where do we go to get our information?



Over the past couple of years I’ve actually been approached to possibly be involved with a couple of different Reality Show projects. They never panned out either due to the inability to agree on terms or because in my gut I knew it wasn’t the right thing for me to do. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that television is all about ratings and the almighty dollar. We all know that sex and scandalous situations beef up ratings, which ultimately bring in more revenue, but when is enough enough? When do we reach a threshold of where we’ve internalized enough crap?



Entertainment is always going to be with us, and we all enjoy being entertained, but are reality shows really real or do they turn the spotlight on the things they want us to focus on and magnify areas where some of us may need to inspect our own lives and possibly seek forgiveness? Something worth thinking about.



Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!



Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Forgiveness is Universal

Wendy & Eva Kor @ The CANDLES Museum & Educational Center in Terre Haute, Indiana

This week marks the 82nd birthday of Nobel Peace Prize honoree Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He's the founder of the Desmond Tutu Peace Foundation and it's his desire to inspire young people to build a world of peace within, peace between and peace among one another. One of the ways he believes this is possible is through the ability to forgive. His book, "No Future Without Forgiveness," highlights what he learned while working with the Truth & Reconciliation Commission in South Africa regarding apartheid. One of his quotes that hits home with me is, "forgiving is not forgetting; it's actually remembering - remembering and not using your right to hit back. It's a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don't want to repeat what happened." I believe one can forgive and still remember in order to help others on their journey.

I opened with the synopsis of Desmond Tutu because last week I shared how my daughter and I were

headed to meet Eva Kor, a Jewish woman who survived the Holocaust, Auschwitz and was victimized by Dr. Josef Mengele, a Nazi doctor who did experiments on twins in Auschwitz. As I shared, Eva is the founder of the CANDLES Holocaust Museum and Education Center in Terre Haute, Indiana. The museum's acronym stands for "Children of Auschwitz Nazi Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors. While visiting with her and spending the day at the Museum and Educational Center, I received a copy of her book, "Surviving The Angel of Death: The True Story of a Mengele Twin in Auschwitz." I was somewhat surprised to learn Archbishop Desmond Tutu wrote a piece proclaiming her book to be an important document showing the strength of the human spirit and the capacity to forgive. Before traveling across country to meet her, I never knew there was a connection between Desmond Tutu and Eva Kor, although it's very befitting. Forgiveness is universal.

My experience in meeting with Eva Kor was quite interesting. When we talked about our lives and how forgiveness was important for both of us to heal and move on we connected in a special bond. During the course of our conversation we spoke on various topics, and although we may not agree on everything, we do believe that if there's any hope for the future of mankind we must all learn to forgive. We all have our own roads to travel, or as my grandmother would say, our own "row to hoe," but what we all have in common is at the end of the day we want to be loved and we want peace in our lives. I challenge you today to release the pain of your past for the beginning of a brighter future. It does begin with us.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Forgiveness Brings Together Holocaust Survivor & Survivor of Abuse

Eva Kor (The Forgiveness Project) - Photo: Grant Stapleton

This past summer I wrote an article highlighting people who are advocates regarding the power of forgiveness. The article highlighted and mentioned Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and a woman named, Eva Kor. I've never met Eva Kor (or any of the other people I mentioned in my article), but I read about how she was a champion of forgiveness. One day out of the clear blue I received a call from her. Of course this surprised me and I wondered how she even knew about the article and further more how she tracked me down. In our first conversation she said she was honored to be mentioned in such company.

For those that may not be familiar with Mrs. Kor, she is a Jewish woman who survived the Holocaust and Auschwitz. She also has a twin sister and they were victims of Dr. Josef Mengele a Nazi doctor who did experiments on twins in Auschwitz. Mrs. Kor is the founder of the CANDLES Holocaust Museum and Education Center in Terre Haute, Indianapolis. The museum's acronym stands for "Children of Auschwitz Nazi Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors. The museum teaches the importance of respect, equality, the power of forgiveness and peace. She believes, "the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing."

My initial discussion with Eva Kor really surprised me and we actually talked for quite some time. Since that first call we've had a few conversations and we've exchanged some emails and written notes. During our conversations we talked about the work we both do that's centered around forgiveness and how wonderful it would be if we could meet and have an open dialogue. As I sit and write this article, my daughter and I are preparing to board an airplane in less than 24 hours to head to Indianapolis to meet her.

What's interesting about all of this is I come from German heritage and I'm third generation American born on my mother's side. To have an opportunity to meet and talk to Mrs. Kor about the power of forgiveness across ethnic, cultural, and generational differences is very powerful. I look forward to what will come out of our journey and I plan to keep everyone posted! Forgiveness truly is a powerful weapon that can turn a mess into a message and the destiny of one into the hope for many.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." -Mahatma Gandhi.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

"When Did Having Character & Integrity Go Out Of Style?"

My grandmother used to always say pay attention to your first mind. She would also say when someone or something crosses your mind, pay attention to what your conscience is saying to you. Recently the two words I can't seem to get out of my head are "character" and "integrity." It seems as if those two words don't carry much weight in our society today. What happened?

When I looked up the word "character," it's described as the combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another. It also deals with one's mental and moral qualities. The word "integrity" is described as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles and moral uprightness.

It seems like we are more interested in someone like Miley Cyrus and her "twerking" and whatever else she stands for, instead of the life and death of UCLA football player, Nick Pasquale, who was killed by a car a couple of weeks ago. When I heard about his death, although he was not a "star," so to speak, on the football field, he was a light when it came to how he lived his life off the field and how he influenced and touched almost everyone he came in contact with in a positive way.

The common thread or chord that the words "character" and "integrity" have in common is one's morals. The dictionary describes morals as, "a person's standards or behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do." I think that explains it right there. As a society (and in some families) our standard of what is acceptable has slipped. We've allowed the world to slip in and corrupt the very core of our judgment on what is good verses bad when it comes to human actions. Are we more concerned about fame and money or a strong foundation for our youth to have a solid future?

Dr. Martin Luther King once said, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." I know we live in a society where the color of our skin can still cause someone to judge us in a certain way, but I challenge all of us to look at our own lives and see how character and integrity line up. Is your "content" positive or negative?

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on! 

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Unacceptable!

For the most part I normally don't really get caught up with the Oscars.  Some of my friends find that amazing since I was an actress for several years (almost a quarter of a century ago) and since for almost another 20 years I've been in the event business.  Both of my careers would scream pay attention to the Oscars.

However,  this year I was involved with putting on a fabulous affair at the Ebell of Los Angeles with co-chair Evelyn "Sparkle" Toliver and I have to say it was an amazing evening.  Although I had to wear a hat of "host" or "event coordinator," I was able to partake in the festivities and for the most part see what was going on the screen.  This year there weren't a lot of African Americans up for the golden statue, but we were present and represented.  Of course we all looked forward to seeing who wore what on the red carpet and who dazzled us and captivated our attention.   I would have to say, our first lady Michelle Obama, not only was amazing as usual wearing a silver Naeem Khan dress, but she closed the night by naming the best picture with class, style and purpose from the White House.

So as we were all enjoying the night and trying to have a good time, across the social media world, there was this (stupid) publication called The Onion that tweeted out about our young adorable girl actress Quvenzhane Wallis from the film, "Beasts of the Southern Wild" calling her a cunt.  When I heard that and then saw it in print I was done.  That was very offensive and not acceptable.  We're talking about  a young lady who was five when she auditioned for the film and is now nine.  Miss Wallis is the youngest nominee by the Academy Awards for Best Actress.  She has now gone on to star in Steve McQueen's upcoming film "12 Years a Slave," and was recently cast as the title character in the film remake of  "Annie." 

 I am a champion for young women and for their self esteem.  I am truly appalled by that comment.  As Actor Wendell Pierce said, "Identify the writer.  Let him defend that abhorrent verbal attack of a child.  You call it humor I call it horrendous."  We must protect our children and the virtue of our girls.  This is not acceptable and I'm paying attention!

 

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

The Ebell of Los Angeles Presents Academy Awards Night

It's always good when we can "party with a purpose." The Ebell of Los Angeles will host a special Academy Awards Night on Sunday, February 24, 2013.  There's no doubt that in addition to the Dolby Theatre, the best place to be for this affair is the other cultural icon, the historic Ebell of Los Angeles.  I became a member of the Ebell last year under the leadership of Shirlee Haizlip, best known for her book, "The Sweeter the Juice:  A Family Memoir in Black and White."  Under Ms. Haizlip's  presidency she worked hard to make sure that all women knew the doors of the Ebell were open to everyone. 

The Academy Awards Night Party is not only to highlight the Oscars, but it's a time that Membership Chair and Fourth Vice President, Evelyn Toliver wants to create an atmosphere that sets out the "red carpet" for future members.  The evening will  feature great dining by Chef Louis Pechan, music by Jerome Dean and his band and many surprises throughout the night.  The decor for the evening will call to mind the Hollywood dominated by Dorothy Dandridge, Hattie McDaniel and Sammy Davis, Jr.,  to name a few.

The Ebell of Los Angeles is an educational and philanthropic organization founded by women in 1894.  The mission is to participate in and encourage the educational, cultural and social growth of the diverse Los Angeles community.  The Ebell administers a college scholarship program for women and men and a program that assists women in need.  The Ebell also maintains and preserves its art collections and its historic Clubhouse and Wilshire Ebell Theatre.  Patty Hill serves as the President of the Ebell of Los Angeles.  Membership Chair and Fourth Vice President, Evelyn Toliver and Wendy Gladney serve as The Academy Awards Night Co-Chairs.  The profits from the evening will go back into the Fine Arts Theatre where the Club will engage middle & high school girls  in their STEM initiative.

 Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

One Person Can Make A Difference & Touch A Life

This past week Forgiving For Living, Inc., taught a class on self esteem  to a group of young ladies in Watts we meet with monthly.  Before the class began and while we were waiting for some of the other young ladies to arrive, I decided to go around the table and ask what was a highlight for them since the last time we were together.  What I found a little shocking and puzzling was several of the girls shared they went to the cemetery to see one of their loved ones "rest in peace."  I'm not totally sure the age of the dearly departed, but I could tell he was a young person.

 

What makes me write about this particular situation is because more than one of the young ladies in the class shared this same sentiment.  As I began to reflect on their conversation and emotions, I thought about how all of us are a product of our environment and the way we process things or navigate through situations is based on what we are exposed to.  For these young ladies if death (whether through gang violence, murder, or just random acts of violence because of their location) is something they face on a regular basis, they begin to possibly build a wall around their emotions and they may even begin to see death as a way out.

I feel that we as adults need to do our best to try and help our youth hold onto their innocence and hope for a better future.  As I sit and write this article my mind drifts to the saying, "you can take the person out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the person."  (You can also exchange the word "country" for other words to describe a person's location).  But, I want to beg to differ.  If we replace negativity with positive thoughts and a plan or process to a better life or situation, I believe all things are possible.  I didn't come from the same exact situation as the young ladies I mention in this story, but I did come out of a desperate situation that may not seem full of hope, but because of a few individuals that touched my life in a positive way, I sit here today writing to you.  One person can make a difference and touch a life.

 

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Black History Month Remember our Historic Educational Institutions

We're on the verge of celebrating Black History Month.   I have to agree with many who believe that "Black History" should be celebrated and remembered throughout the whole year (as should other communities and their history).  Living in such a way where we can appreciate and celebrate the accomplishments of each other while still progressing in a common society can be an interesting web to weave, but  it can be done.

Education is a topic that is of importance today as in days gone by.  I am the granddaughter of grandparents that attended Bishop College in Texas (it was an Historic Black College that is now closed).  My grandparents migrated from the South in hopes of a better life in the West.   I am a California girl true and through, however, as I see the significant accomplishments of our forefathers, I feel we've lost ground when we don't support our African American educational institutions.

I recently saw a documentary about a school called Bordentown that was located in New Jersey.  It was a Manual Training Industrial School from 1886 - 1948 (I believe the doors actually closed in the mid 1950's).  Some referred to it as the "Tuskegee of the North."  It was a co-ed boarding school that trained its students in the various skills of the day.  The time period between the Civil War and the Civil Rights Movement marked the height of these institutions such as Piney Woods in Mississippi, Pine Forge Academy in Pennsylvania, Boggs Academy in Georgia, Gilbert Academy in New Orleans, Snow Hill Institute in Alabama, Laurinburg Institute in North Carolina, Palmer Memorial Institute and Mather Schools in Beaufort and Camden South Carolina among others.  This list does not include the numerous HBCU's (ie: Howard, Hampton, Tuskegee, Morehouse, and Spelman to name a few) that have educated many of our leaders over the years.

Growing up in California, I was not as aware of the significance and importance of our historical higher educational institutions as I am today. (Even though my grandparents were products of such a school).  However, as a mother I exposed both of my children of the options that were open to them with these schools.  My daughter attended Spelman College (she is currently the Vice President of the Los Angeles Alumnae), while my son chose to attend a UC school here in Southern California.  I'm glad they knew they had options and choices.

In 2003 I had the honor of being the Founder's Day Speaker at Piney Woods for their 29th Annual Founder's Day and the 95th Anniversary Celebration.  Dr. Charles Beady was the President and I was so honored to partake in that historic moment.  So in celebrating Black History Month I encourage all of us to make a donation to an African American Educational Institution. If you're not sure how you can celebrate or honor Black History Month, get involved with "Our Authors Study Club" an affiliate of Dr. Carter G. Woodson.  For more information contact Mordena Moore at 310.745.8773.

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.