Sunday, December 18, 2011

Merry Christmas

As I sit to write this Christmas article my heart is full. When I went to church this morning I was reminded of the true meaning of Christmas and the necessity for those of us that proclaim to be Christians to not back down during this time of year for what we believe.

When I went to Wikipedia to look of the meaning of "Christmas" it stated that it was translated "Christ's mass," which is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ generally celebrated on December 25th." Many of us are afraid to offend people so we have stopped saying "Merry Christmas" and have replaced it with "Happy Holidays." Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with saying happy holidays to someone, but if you are a Christian don't be ashamed of who's birthday it is.

Reflecting on the fact that Christmas is to represent the birth of Christ then we should honor him by giving gifts to Him by giving to those in need. Take the light off yourself and put the spotlight on Him by giving to someone in need or an organization that you know touches the community.

In closing, don't be tempted to put "X-mas" either. The world would want us to "x" Christ right out of the picture. Would you want someone to "x" you out on your birthday? I think the bigger question is would you want Christ to "x" you out of heaven? If you are a believer then stand up and be counted. Don't be afraid of what others may say about you, after all they won't care what you think about their beliefs. The good thing about one's beliefs is the fact they are personal and you have the right to believe what is in your heart.

I know I would hate to have to ask Jesus to forgive me because I didn't want to offend someone and so I just left Him out of the picture. Jesus is the Reason for the Season!

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Protect Our Children No Matter What

Many of us have read or heard about the sex abuse scandals whether it involves the church, colleges or sports. Conversations have ranged from how can something like that happen, to can you believe a "man of God" could even fathom such a thing. I haven't said much about these stories, but I think it's time for me to step up and give my thoughts regarding a couple of cases in the news as of late.

Let's start with the story regarding Jerry Sandusky the ex - Penn State coach arrested on sex abuse charges. He has been accused of being a pedophile who preyed upon young boys under the guise of being a "do-gooder." To date as I write this he has been charged with assaulting 10 victims. He is facing a total of 40 counts of child sexual abuse.

In the same breath in another state we have Bishop Eddie Long from New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Georgia taking a brief leave of absence from his church to take care of "family business" after being accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with several young men. It has been declared that he settled with them after months of mediation.

My point in discussing all of this is to say sexual abuse against children is an outrage and Forgiving For Living, Inc., although it focuses on young ladies and women, believes that abuse of any kind and against anyone is a disgrace and should be dealt with. Especially when it comes to children. Parents are going to have to be more aware and mindful of where their children are and who they are spending time with. We can't assume just because of someone's title and status they can automatically be trusted. Why do minors need to be spending so much unsupervised attention with adults in the first place?

As it relates to the question or thought that abuses must have been abused and that's why they do what they do. Hogwash! I know plenty of people who have experienced pain or abuse as children that have never hurt anyone, especially children. That's an excuse and outright disgusting. Excuses are not accepted. If you've been hurt or wounded, get help. Don't perpetuate negative cycles. Let's hold others accountable. Let's protect our children.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Mother Nature

Recently winds hit the Southland drastically like I can't remember and I'm a lifelong resident of Southern California. Over the last several months I have spent time and money updating, improving and fixing up my home. It's amazing how one night can change what you've worked on for months.

The morning after the major winds swept through the city my daughter called me and shared how her car was damaged and that she wasn't sure where to start. After we calmed nerves, assessed the damage (and of course I was praying as mother's do), we put together the plan to get the ball moving with the city, the insurance company, and everything else she would need to accomplish to get her life back in order and return to work.

On the same morning my son was due into the International Terminal at LAX from Australia, but his flight had a lot of challenges, he was re-routed from Sydney to Melbourne back to Sydney and finally into LAX many hours later.

What all of this has taught me is there are many things we just don't have control over, especially when it comes to mother nature. What it also made crystal clear is that we cannot put our hope or faith in material things. Close to three decades ago when I moved to Los Angeles for college, I attended Mount Zion Baptist Church where Dr. E.V. Hill was the pastor and he used to say, "wear the things of this world loosely." In other words don't let them control you.

Health, love, life and family are truly the things that we need to honor and hold onto. Let go of the things that so entangle your life and keep you from enjoying what really matters. Learning to let go of things and "release" is the third step from the ten steps of "Healing Without Hate: How To Forgive To Live." TM


Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Black Friday

The holidays are in full swing. The turkey was carved and many of us over ate and we still have the rest of the holidays to go. (Soon I will be writing about how we have to forgive ourselves for over indulging and eating too much). As soon as the last piece of pumpkin pie was cut, attention turned to what is called "Black Friday." Why is it called "Black Friday?" The term originated from the day the stock market hit a catastrophe on September 24, 1869 and the markets crashed following a failed attempt by some financiers who tried to corner the gold market. Making it a dark day and time in our history.

Since then the term "Black Friday" has taken a new twist and turn. This day always occurs the day after Thanksgiving and starts the official rush for Christmas shopping. Retailers now refer to it by this term because it's when many go from being in the red to turning a profit and going black. (This is one of the few times that I've noticed when something that effects the general public is referred to as "black" with a positive outcome.)

As I sit to write this piece, I just hung up from talking to a friend and she was telling me she needed to go because she would be getting up and meeting other friends at 1:00am (Friday Morning) to be part of the crowd that saves lots of money from all of the store sales. I have never been one to participate in such chaos because uncontrolled crowds actually get on my nerves, plus I try to plan my shopping and giving throughout the year.

The point that I want to make is no matter how many savings that go on during the holidays, if you don't have the budget to shop, don't. Don't let commercialism get you caught up where you are not only NOT in the "black" with your checking account, but you also have no "green" in your pocket.

Remember, at the end of the day, this is the season where you can give in so many ways. One of the most important ways is with your time and expertise. Give of yourself. As I have often quoted, "people really don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." At the end of the day toys will go in the trash, people will forget what you bought, but they will never forget when you've touched their heart.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Hermain Cain & Women Matter!

We've all heard and read about Presidential candidate Herman Cain and his treatment of women. There have been several allegations of one form or another regarding sexual harassment and his abuse towards women that have worked with him. When I first started hearing these comments, I didn't give it much thought and just figured okay here go with the "political wars." However, the more you hear woman after woman come forth giving her story and testimony, there comes a time when one must listen. Don't get me wrong, I feel oftentimes in the public arena there are people that come forth to get their five minutes of fame anyway they can, however, I know when a woman is willing to go public on such a matter as this, we must listen.

What really caught my attention is when Mr. Cain's wife, Gloria came forth and said, "he totally respects women." My question is this the truth, or is this a woman/wife standing by her man? She goes forth to state that after reading the allegations she knew it could not be true, otherwise he would have to have a split personality to do the things that were said.

Statistics show that one out of every three women worldwide will be physically, sexually or otherwise abused or harassed during their lifetime with rates reaching 70 percent in some countries. This type of violence ranges from misappropriate touching, rape to domestic abuse and acid burnings to dowry deaths and so-called honor killings. Violence against women and girls is an extreme human rights violation, a public health epidemic and a barrier to solving global challenges such as extreme poverty, HIV/AIDS and famine. It devastates the lives of millions of women and girls — in peacetime and in conflict — and knows no national or cultural barriers.

Violence against women is wrong and must be stopped. What many people don't know is that sexual abuse or harassment can be a major cause of poverty and a huge barrier to economic opportunity - it keeps women from standing up for themselves, getting an education, working, and earning the income they need to lift their families out of poverty and to a better way of life.

My point is, we have to all be mindful of such allegations and take everything serious when it violates a woman's right and safety against such treatment.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!


Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Planetree

Over the years working with my nonprofit, Forgiving For Living, Inc., I've had the privilege of working with and helping various people that crossed my path and came into my life. What I truly know for sure is when you sow into the lives of others, it definitely comes full circle back into your life. What's interesting is it may not always be from the person you plant a seed, but good works always blossom somewhere.

This past week I had an opportunity to go with one of my girls, Azure Antoinette, to a conference in Nashville at the Grand Ole Opry and it was a surprise of a lifetime. Besides the venue being amazing with superb service, relationships were formed that I believe will last a lifetime. First of all, whoever thought that Nashville was boring and just for people who were "country" well, let me tell you....I became country! As a brother and sister team once coined, "I'm a little bit of country, and a little bit of rock and roll." I'm a "little bit of country, a little bit of gospel and a lot of R& B!" The blessing of attending this conference was I met some wonderful and exciting people doing great work with helping people heal through Patient Centered Care and who really want to put caring back into helping others.

The conference was put on by a group called Planetree. They're a nonprofit organization that provides education and information in a collaborative community of healthcare organizations, facilitating efforts to create patient centered care in healing environments. As a global catalyst and leader Planetree promotes the development and implementation of innovative models of healthcare that focus on healing and nurturing body, mind and spirit.

For those of you that know me and my mission, this was right up my alley. I truly believe that forgiveness and letting go of the things that so entangle our lives is a step towards healing the body, mind and spirit. Research shows that people who hold onto hate, bitterness and anger increase the probability of increased health problems such as drug use, alcoholism and cancer to name a few. According to an article by Elizabeth Scott, M.S., on "The Benefits of Forgiveness," she states: A study found that forgiveness to be positively associated with five measures of health: physical symptoms, medications used, sleep quality, fatigue, and somatic complaints. For those of us who desire to help others, this is a check up to look in the mirror and make sure we've let go of unnecessary "stuff" from our past.

In closing, thank you Jim, Heidi, Michael, Sonya and all of you at Planetree for planting a seed in me that I look forward to see how it will blossom and grow. Keep up the good work!

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Wandering Generalities Oppose to a Meaningful Specific

The older we get the more it seems like time just keeps on passing us by. I was recently reflecting with a friend and I told him I just turned "50". He reminded me that it was almost two months ago! How did eight weeks fly so fast? As we continued to talk he said, make sure you don't fall into "wandering generalities oppose to a meaningful specific," with the things you've set your mind to do.

Okay, after I stopped to give his expression some thought, I had to think about how deep a simple phrase can really be. Honestly this made me reflect on everything I currently had on my list and reviewed it to make sure I wasn't just being "busy," but actually taking care of "business." Now of course it's important to be balanced and have fun in life, but also remember what your goals are and what you are purposed to do.

I've started to notice in some of the conversations I'm having with friends, clients and new acquaintances, many are disappointed with themselves for not really going after what's in their heart to accomplish. What I've observed is there are as many different reasons as people for why they aren't going after what they really want. The three biggest reasons seem to be fear, or they don't believe they deserve it, or they feel they've waited too long and it's too late.

My response is first, fear is "false evidence appearing real." Don't give into fear. It cripples people all the time and it is actually the opposite of faith or believing. Secondly, you must believe in yourself and what you were put on this earth to do. No matter what you've heard otherwise. Third, as long as you, we, us have breath in our bodies it is NEVER too late to go after what you really want. Learn as much as you can about what it is you want to do, find out who else is doing it, and start surrounding yourself with people of like mind.

I believe if you really don't fight and try to make your dreams a reality you will be mad at yourself. If that happens, you will wake up one day asking yourself for forgiveness. Always remember nothing beats a failure but a try!


Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Gaddafi's Death

Most of us are aware that Muammar Gaddafi, Longtime dictator of Libya was killed. They are still investigating all of the details pertaining to his death, but video tapes showed graphic images where his lifeless body was being dragged through the streets and over pavement with lots of blood. What's interesting is the men that were tormenting him chanted continuously "God is great," while they continued to beat him. I ask is this conduct just? Is it moral?

With all that is going on throughout the world and across the globe the question of "justice" could be asked. Justice means the quality of being just, righteousness, or moral rightness. It is the moral principle determining just conduct.

I am not a political correspondent nor do I even want to pretend to be so, therefore the main purpose of my comments are centered around the question of humanity and what is right. As I was raising my children, I always taught them that right is right if no one is doing it, and wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it. The question I pose is what are we doing? Is it right?

President Obama did address the death of Gaddafi in a press conference. He said that Libya won their revolution. Gadaffi was known as one of the world's longest serving dictators and now he is no more. He was accused of crimes against humanity, but the way he was murdered was that humane? With all of the violence and hatred that has been stirring for all this time did this action bring peace?

Forgiveness has to be part of any dialogue and solution if we want to even have a hope of a better future for the next generations to come. I'm not saying that Gaddafi (or anyone else for that matter) was correct in his actions, but have we searched and sought all forms of understanding and possible reconciliation?


Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Keeping the Peace

This week my heart and mind have been heavy as I thought about what to share. I very much desire for my blog to be entertaining, educational and enlightening. But at the end of the day, I must also write about what I feel and believe. Recently I've noticed some negativity among people I hoped to respect, even people I would consider leaders in the community. One thing I know for sure, no one rises to the top by knocking someone else down.

I really believe it is a shame when an individual publicly humiliates another person, especially when there's been a history, friendship and even a working relationship that once existed. I ask how can someone say they are an advocate for peace and yet they try to destroy another person's reputation and possibly even their livelihood? If you have a problem or a disappointment with a person, it might not be a bad idea to just pull them aside and help them.

To confirm my thoughts about this week's article, what I found interesting is when I was in church this morning the pastor talked about judgment and being careful when we pass judgment on another. After all, we've all heard the saying, "he who is without sin cast the first stone." So understand, I am not passing judgment, I just want to give all of us something to think about. Leaders construct not destroy.

Of course, I had to look at the bible before I brought closure to this thought. James 4:1 says, " where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?" Usually when we try to breakdown another it is because of pride. We know pride comes before a fall...In the book of James, he goes further to say, "If anyone among you thinks he's religious, but does not bridle his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless."

In closing, I just want to say, if we profess peace, then we need to stop fighting with one another and practice what we preach. Figure it out, work it out with your fellow brother or sister. Life is short and we should build up instead of destroying others. Extend the olive branch, believe me if you're sincere it works. This step can lead to forgiveness and that can eventually lead to peace.

"...that old law about an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Challenge To Reinvent Oneself!

I've always loved the month of September. Not only is it the month I celebrate my birthday, but it has always represented the freshness of new beginnings. As I've shared before, it traditionally was the time when kids go back to school and new school clothes were purchased. It was also when new school supplies were bought, including stacks of paper and notebooks, new sharpened pencils, and everything else that would go with having a good beginning for a successful school year. By the way, I love new notebooks and pretty writing pens.

The weather also starts to take a change. It begins to cool off and a wind picks up that brushes across our face. We often look in the closet for that light jacket, blazer or sweater to keep us warm. We pay more attention to our wardrobe during this time because there's a lot of "mixing & matching." I think it's the time of year where we feel no matter what happened over the summer we still have a chance to make it a great year before the holidays take over.

I have decided to take a personal public challenge during this season and look at my life (turning 50 will do this to you) and see where do I really need to stop and make a change or improve. I all this the "Reinvention of Wendy." I don't plan to do anything drastic, but just subtle changes internally and externally so that I won't look up in a few years and not be happy where I am, how I feel about the choices I made and did I stop to take time to be the best that I can be.

I have decided to start with the following:
* Assess where I am with my convictions, commitments and my word. What do I need to do to get where I want to be?
* Simply stated get off my duff and really start an exercise plan that I will stay with including eating healthier and living like I want to live.
* Do a better job of lending a helping hand to those in need that I can touch. Dr. E.V. Hill used to say, "if you can don't lie, if you can't don't try!" Pretty to the point, if you can do something give it your best, otherwise leave it alone.

I challenge you to examine your own life and see what needs a little attention. The choices you make in life ultimately determine your destiny!

"Healing Without Hate: It's a Choice. It's a Lifestyle. Pass It On!"

visit www.wendygladney.com or www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. You can also hear Wendy on 102.3 KJLH Radio on Friday Mornings around 5:00am.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Turning 50

It's really interesting how birthdays can make you stop and reflect. Especially when it's one of the "big" ones. As I sit and write this week's column the clock is ticking and I'm about to turn 50 years old. Truth be told, I really don't mind and I'm in a better place than I've been in years, but the thought of being a half century makes a girl feel a little old. What's interesting several of my friends and colleagues keep sending me little messages that say, "welcome to the club."

After reflecting on the comments, I began to think about what is this "club" and who are the members? First of all the fact that we've made it to the half way mark of a century is something in itself. When I reflect back on my own personal life and the fact that I was born in my mother's sixth month of pregnancy and weighing just a couple of pounds is a miracle within itself. Compounding other life challenges and beating cancer all mean that I should be thankful to be at this point....and I am!

Most of us that have reached this milestone have experienced life, marriage, sometimes divorce, children and possibly death of loved ones. Hopefully we've learned what is important not to sweat the small stuff. Taking care of one's health, enjoying and cherishing loved ones, and helping others are some of the greatest simple pleasures we can experience and yet we often take them for granted or let them slip away.

As I started sharing in last weeks' column, I am really on a kick about the process of reinventing oneself, while forgiving yourself for the things you possibly didn't do right. Most of us have heard the saying that you attract what you put out. So the question is what are you putting out into the world? If you say you want better health, then start slowly cutting back on the things you shouldn't eat and start slowly walking a little every day. If you say you want friends, then show yourself friendly. If you say you want success, then start today doing one thing that can put you closer to your goals. Remember you can't expect something new if you keep doing the same old thing. Reinventing means letting go of the unnecessary things and looking at life from a new perspective. For me the second half of life is going to be beautiful and happy!

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Monday, August 22, 2011

The Need For A Coach No Matter Where You Are In Life

In life no matter how successful one may be, or even "appear" to be, I've learned it's always important to sharpen one's tools, learn some new things and listen to a coach. I feel like I've been going through a growing stage and "transition" for quite some time (let's even say a couple of years). What started as "downsizing" when the economy hit our company in 2009, has now turned into a whole new way of life.

The first thing I learned is less is not such a bad thing. At one time I was responsible for up to 7 employees, full overhead of a large office, workers comp, insurance, you name it. Letting go of some of that not only lightened my load, but freed up my mind to think on things that I really wanted to focus on (such as my non-profit, Forgiving For Living, Inc.). Furthermore, my life has changed because my children are grown (and my son has now moved to Australia), so the day to day mothering is not like it used to be. Let's say I am learning the joy of "skype" and "whatsapp" and "texting" in a whole new way! So I am in the process of "reinventing" myself and how it ties into the subject of "forgiveness" and helping others.

I recently read in one of my devotional books that when God is doing something in your life, we might feel frustrated or even confused, but don't get weary and stay open because with great things comes great faith and dependence on Him. I know He is leading me to a new cornerstone in my life and that it is important for me to not feel afraid. What's also true is this process or journey definitely includes the importance to forgive. Forgiveness is what helps to create an extraordinary life from ordinary people. I don't know about you, but I am ready to walk in being "extra" in a good way.

In closing, when I looked up the meaning of "reinvent," it stated that it is "to recast something familiar or old into a different form." It also said, "to create anew or make over." All to say, it doesn't mean what we were doing was wrong or bad, it just means it's time to take something we've gotten used to and tweak it into something better. I'm ready....are you? More to come on how we can reinvent ourselves and the power forgiveness has to get us there.


Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Reinvention

Coming soon....learn about how "Forgiveness" and "Reinvention" collide and mak your life better!

Blessings

Wendy