"Have Reality Shows Gone Too Far?"

Have Reality Shows gone too far? When we say it’s “Fall Season” that’s actually a pretty strong play on words. Why do we care more about sensationalism then sensitivity? Is the price of fame really worth the cost? Many people don’t know, but I have a 25 year plus history working in the entertainment industry. In my early 20’s I was a working actress doing movies, television and commercials. I never became famous, but I worked enough to receive benefits and to be a regular on various sit-coms and night time dramas.



I live a public life between community work, being a writer, speaking and working on the radio. I’ve learned oftentimes the way things appear may not always be as they truly are. Perception can be one’s reality, but when perception is clouded it can start a long string of misconceptions and deceptions. There comes a time in life when we all must go back to the basics and deal with facts and not just someone’s opinion or message.



The question we must consider is what is our core? What is our truth? What is the foundation we stand on that forms the basis of how we live our lives, raise our families and do the things we do. Do we do the necessary research when our gut tells us something isn’t right? What do we read? What do we watch on television? The bottom line is where do we go to get our information?



Over the past couple of years I’ve actually been approached to possibly be involved with a couple of different Reality Show projects. They never panned out either due to the inability to agree on terms or because in my gut I knew it wasn’t the right thing for me to do. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that television is all about ratings and the almighty dollar. We all know that sex and scandalous situations beef up ratings, which ultimately bring in more revenue, but when is enough enough? When do we reach a threshold of where we’ve internalized enough crap?



Entertainment is always going to be with us, and we all enjoy being entertained, but are reality shows really real or do they turn the spotlight on the things they want us to focus on and magnify areas where some of us may need to inspect our own lives and possibly seek forgiveness? Something worth thinking about.



Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!



Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Forgiveness is Universal

Wendy & Eva Kor @ The CANDLES Museum & Educational Center in Terre Haute, Indiana

This week marks the 82nd birthday of Nobel Peace Prize honoree Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He's the founder of the Desmond Tutu Peace Foundation and it's his desire to inspire young people to build a world of peace within, peace between and peace among one another. One of the ways he believes this is possible is through the ability to forgive. His book, "No Future Without Forgiveness," highlights what he learned while working with the Truth & Reconciliation Commission in South Africa regarding apartheid. One of his quotes that hits home with me is, "forgiving is not forgetting; it's actually remembering - remembering and not using your right to hit back. It's a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don't want to repeat what happened." I believe one can forgive and still remember in order to help others on their journey.

I opened with the synopsis of Desmond Tutu because last week I shared how my daughter and I were

headed to meet Eva Kor, a Jewish woman who survived the Holocaust, Auschwitz and was victimized by Dr. Josef Mengele, a Nazi doctor who did experiments on twins in Auschwitz. As I shared, Eva is the founder of the CANDLES Holocaust Museum and Education Center in Terre Haute, Indiana. The museum's acronym stands for "Children of Auschwitz Nazi Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors. While visiting with her and spending the day at the Museum and Educational Center, I received a copy of her book, "Surviving The Angel of Death: The True Story of a Mengele Twin in Auschwitz." I was somewhat surprised to learn Archbishop Desmond Tutu wrote a piece proclaiming her book to be an important document showing the strength of the human spirit and the capacity to forgive. Before traveling across country to meet her, I never knew there was a connection between Desmond Tutu and Eva Kor, although it's very befitting. Forgiveness is universal.

My experience in meeting with Eva Kor was quite interesting. When we talked about our lives and how forgiveness was important for both of us to heal and move on we connected in a special bond. During the course of our conversation we spoke on various topics, and although we may not agree on everything, we do believe that if there's any hope for the future of mankind we must all learn to forgive. We all have our own roads to travel, or as my grandmother would say, our own "row to hoe," but what we all have in common is at the end of the day we want to be loved and we want peace in our lives. I challenge you today to release the pain of your past for the beginning of a brighter future. It does begin with us.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Forgiveness Brings Together Holocaust Survivor & Survivor of Abuse

Eva Kor (The Forgiveness Project) - Photo: Grant Stapleton

This past summer I wrote an article highlighting people who are advocates regarding the power of forgiveness. The article highlighted and mentioned Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and a woman named, Eva Kor. I've never met Eva Kor (or any of the other people I mentioned in my article), but I read about how she was a champion of forgiveness. One day out of the clear blue I received a call from her. Of course this surprised me and I wondered how she even knew about the article and further more how she tracked me down. In our first conversation she said she was honored to be mentioned in such company.

For those that may not be familiar with Mrs. Kor, she is a Jewish woman who survived the Holocaust and Auschwitz. She also has a twin sister and they were victims of Dr. Josef Mengele a Nazi doctor who did experiments on twins in Auschwitz. Mrs. Kor is the founder of the CANDLES Holocaust Museum and Education Center in Terre Haute, Indianapolis. The museum's acronym stands for "Children of Auschwitz Nazi Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors. The museum teaches the importance of respect, equality, the power of forgiveness and peace. She believes, "the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing."

My initial discussion with Eva Kor really surprised me and we actually talked for quite some time. Since that first call we've had a few conversations and we've exchanged some emails and written notes. During our conversations we talked about the work we both do that's centered around forgiveness and how wonderful it would be if we could meet and have an open dialogue. As I sit and write this article, my daughter and I are preparing to board an airplane in less than 24 hours to head to Indianapolis to meet her.

What's interesting about all of this is I come from German heritage and I'm third generation American born on my mother's side. To have an opportunity to meet and talk to Mrs. Kor about the power of forgiveness across ethnic, cultural, and generational differences is very powerful. I look forward to what will come out of our journey and I plan to keep everyone posted! Forgiveness truly is a powerful weapon that can turn a mess into a message and the destiny of one into the hope for many.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." -Mahatma Gandhi.

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

"When Did Having Character & Integrity Go Out Of Style?"

My grandmother used to always say pay attention to your first mind. She would also say when someone or something crosses your mind, pay attention to what your conscience is saying to you. Recently the two words I can't seem to get out of my head are "character" and "integrity." It seems as if those two words don't carry much weight in our society today. What happened?

When I looked up the word "character," it's described as the combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another. It also deals with one's mental and moral qualities. The word "integrity" is described as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles and moral uprightness.

It seems like we are more interested in someone like Miley Cyrus and her "twerking" and whatever else she stands for, instead of the life and death of UCLA football player, Nick Pasquale, who was killed by a car a couple of weeks ago. When I heard about his death, although he was not a "star," so to speak, on the football field, he was a light when it came to how he lived his life off the field and how he influenced and touched almost everyone he came in contact with in a positive way.

The common thread or chord that the words "character" and "integrity" have in common is one's morals. The dictionary describes morals as, "a person's standards or behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do." I think that explains it right there. As a society (and in some families) our standard of what is acceptable has slipped. We've allowed the world to slip in and corrupt the very core of our judgment on what is good verses bad when it comes to human actions. Are we more concerned about fame and money or a strong foundation for our youth to have a solid future?

Dr. Martin Luther King once said, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." I know we live in a society where the color of our skin can still cause someone to judge us in a certain way, but I challenge all of us to look at our own lives and see how character and integrity line up. Is your "content" positive or negative?

Healing Without Hate: It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on! 

Visit www.WendyGladney.com & www.forgivingforliving.org. You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog: Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Unacceptable!

For the most part I normally don't really get caught up with the Oscars.  Some of my friends find that amazing since I was an actress for several years (almost a quarter of a century ago) and since for almost another 20 years I've been in the event business.  Both of my careers would scream pay attention to the Oscars.

However,  this year I was involved with putting on a fabulous affair at the Ebell of Los Angeles with co-chair Evelyn "Sparkle" Toliver and I have to say it was an amazing evening.  Although I had to wear a hat of "host" or "event coordinator," I was able to partake in the festivities and for the most part see what was going on the screen.  This year there weren't a lot of African Americans up for the golden statue, but we were present and represented.  Of course we all looked forward to seeing who wore what on the red carpet and who dazzled us and captivated our attention.   I would have to say, our first lady Michelle Obama, not only was amazing as usual wearing a silver Naeem Khan dress, but she closed the night by naming the best picture with class, style and purpose from the White House.

So as we were all enjoying the night and trying to have a good time, across the social media world, there was this (stupid) publication called The Onion that tweeted out about our young adorable girl actress Quvenzhane Wallis from the film, "Beasts of the Southern Wild" calling her a cunt.  When I heard that and then saw it in print I was done.  That was very offensive and not acceptable.  We're talking about  a young lady who was five when she auditioned for the film and is now nine.  Miss Wallis is the youngest nominee by the Academy Awards for Best Actress.  She has now gone on to star in Steve McQueen's upcoming film "12 Years a Slave," and was recently cast as the title character in the film remake of  "Annie." 

 I am a champion for young women and for their self esteem.  I am truly appalled by that comment.  As Actor Wendell Pierce said, "Identify the writer.  Let him defend that abhorrent verbal attack of a child.  You call it humor I call it horrendous."  We must protect our children and the virtue of our girls.  This is not acceptable and I'm paying attention!

 

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

The Ebell of Los Angeles Presents Academy Awards Night

It's always good when we can "party with a purpose." The Ebell of Los Angeles will host a special Academy Awards Night on Sunday, February 24, 2013.  There's no doubt that in addition to the Dolby Theatre, the best place to be for this affair is the other cultural icon, the historic Ebell of Los Angeles.  I became a member of the Ebell last year under the leadership of Shirlee Haizlip, best known for her book, "The Sweeter the Juice:  A Family Memoir in Black and White."  Under Ms. Haizlip's  presidency she worked hard to make sure that all women knew the doors of the Ebell were open to everyone. 

The Academy Awards Night Party is not only to highlight the Oscars, but it's a time that Membership Chair and Fourth Vice President, Evelyn Toliver wants to create an atmosphere that sets out the "red carpet" for future members.  The evening will  feature great dining by Chef Louis Pechan, music by Jerome Dean and his band and many surprises throughout the night.  The decor for the evening will call to mind the Hollywood dominated by Dorothy Dandridge, Hattie McDaniel and Sammy Davis, Jr.,  to name a few.

The Ebell of Los Angeles is an educational and philanthropic organization founded by women in 1894.  The mission is to participate in and encourage the educational, cultural and social growth of the diverse Los Angeles community.  The Ebell administers a college scholarship program for women and men and a program that assists women in need.  The Ebell also maintains and preserves its art collections and its historic Clubhouse and Wilshire Ebell Theatre.  Patty Hill serves as the President of the Ebell of Los Angeles.  Membership Chair and Fourth Vice President, Evelyn Toliver and Wendy Gladney serve as The Academy Awards Night Co-Chairs.  The profits from the evening will go back into the Fine Arts Theatre where the Club will engage middle & high school girls  in their STEM initiative.

 Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

One Person Can Make A Difference & Touch A Life

This past week Forgiving For Living, Inc., taught a class on self esteem  to a group of young ladies in Watts we meet with monthly.  Before the class began and while we were waiting for some of the other young ladies to arrive, I decided to go around the table and ask what was a highlight for them since the last time we were together.  What I found a little shocking and puzzling was several of the girls shared they went to the cemetery to see one of their loved ones "rest in peace."  I'm not totally sure the age of the dearly departed, but I could tell he was a young person.

 

What makes me write about this particular situation is because more than one of the young ladies in the class shared this same sentiment.  As I began to reflect on their conversation and emotions, I thought about how all of us are a product of our environment and the way we process things or navigate through situations is based on what we are exposed to.  For these young ladies if death (whether through gang violence, murder, or just random acts of violence because of their location) is something they face on a regular basis, they begin to possibly build a wall around their emotions and they may even begin to see death as a way out.

I feel that we as adults need to do our best to try and help our youth hold onto their innocence and hope for a better future.  As I sit and write this article my mind drifts to the saying, "you can take the person out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the person."  (You can also exchange the word "country" for other words to describe a person's location).  But, I want to beg to differ.  If we replace negativity with positive thoughts and a plan or process to a better life or situation, I believe all things are possible.  I didn't come from the same exact situation as the young ladies I mention in this story, but I did come out of a desperate situation that may not seem full of hope, but because of a few individuals that touched my life in a positive way, I sit here today writing to you.  One person can make a difference and touch a life.

 

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Black History Month Remember our Historic Educational Institutions

We're on the verge of celebrating Black History Month.   I have to agree with many who believe that "Black History" should be celebrated and remembered throughout the whole year (as should other communities and their history).  Living in such a way where we can appreciate and celebrate the accomplishments of each other while still progressing in a common society can be an interesting web to weave, but  it can be done.

Education is a topic that is of importance today as in days gone by.  I am the granddaughter of grandparents that attended Bishop College in Texas (it was an Historic Black College that is now closed).  My grandparents migrated from the South in hopes of a better life in the West.   I am a California girl true and through, however, as I see the significant accomplishments of our forefathers, I feel we've lost ground when we don't support our African American educational institutions.

I recently saw a documentary about a school called Bordentown that was located in New Jersey.  It was a Manual Training Industrial School from 1886 - 1948 (I believe the doors actually closed in the mid 1950's).  Some referred to it as the "Tuskegee of the North."  It was a co-ed boarding school that trained its students in the various skills of the day.  The time period between the Civil War and the Civil Rights Movement marked the height of these institutions such as Piney Woods in Mississippi, Pine Forge Academy in Pennsylvania, Boggs Academy in Georgia, Gilbert Academy in New Orleans, Snow Hill Institute in Alabama, Laurinburg Institute in North Carolina, Palmer Memorial Institute and Mather Schools in Beaufort and Camden South Carolina among others.  This list does not include the numerous HBCU's (ie: Howard, Hampton, Tuskegee, Morehouse, and Spelman to name a few) that have educated many of our leaders over the years.

Growing up in California, I was not as aware of the significance and importance of our historical higher educational institutions as I am today. (Even though my grandparents were products of such a school).  However, as a mother I exposed both of my children of the options that were open to them with these schools.  My daughter attended Spelman College (she is currently the Vice President of the Los Angeles Alumnae), while my son chose to attend a UC school here in Southern California.  I'm glad they knew they had options and choices.

In 2003 I had the honor of being the Founder's Day Speaker at Piney Woods for their 29th Annual Founder's Day and the 95th Anniversary Celebration.  Dr. Charles Beady was the President and I was so honored to partake in that historic moment.  So in celebrating Black History Month I encourage all of us to make a donation to an African American Educational Institution. If you're not sure how you can celebrate or honor Black History Month, get involved with "Our Authors Study Club" an affiliate of Dr. Carter G. Woodson.  For more information contact Mordena Moore at 310.745.8773.

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

The Day of the Girl

This week I would like to bring attention to and highlight that the United Nations established October 11th  as "The International Day of the Girl."  The purpose of this day is to bring attention, celebrate, discuss and advance the lives of  girls across the globe.  It is believed when girls (and people) come together to discuss what really matters to them and what is real in their lives, new ways of thinking , stereotypes, discrimination and other real issues can be confronted and eradicated.

We at Forgiving For Living, Inc., know the power that comes when young ladies believe in themselves and are able to become all that they are meant to be.  The campaign to establish October 11th as "The Day of the Girl," was led in the United States by School Girls Unite.  The leading parties encouraged girls and organizations across the world to unite on this day in some sort of solidarity to show that girls matter and that we care.

According to the official website of this project, "history shows that it hasn't ever been easy to be a girl, and despite awesome changes in the status and perception of women and girls, herstory is still a complicated and challenging one."  Issues that young ladies still deal with today are:  illiteracy, violence, abuse, abandonment, self image issues and sex trafficking to name a few.  The parent body believes that in order for us to tackle the issues that face our girls today, we have to identify them as barriers and actually put programs and plans in place to help them reach their potential.  Forgiving For Living, does such through our Ambassador Mentor Programs, Workshops and our Annual Conference.  Together we will stand across Southern California in our T-shirts showing that we care and they matter!

Ironically, "The Day of the Girl" falls on the birthday of Eleanor Roosevelt, who happened to be at one time the First Lady and Chair of the United Nations Commission on Human Rights.  I feel that both she and our current First Lady, Michelle Obama are wonderful examples and roles models for our girls!  There are many that we can proudly say have paved the way, but what are you doing to make a difference and touch the life of a young lady?

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

A New Season is Around the Corner

Where did summer go?  I feel like we blinked and summer disappeared.  Isn't that just like life.  As the seasons ebb and flow and we transition from one to another, the same happens as it relates to the ups and downs or trials and tribulations that come our way.  Labor Day weekend seems to mark the end of summer (although with the school system starting earlier and earlier it seems like summer ends way before Labor Day).  As we bring the last sunny lazy days to an end and we prepare for Fall it's time for us to buckle down and get back on course with our dreams and goals. 

I like the visual scenario that shows Summer as light and airy, whereas Fall is when we pull out sweaters, jackets, long pants and covered shoes (ie. boots), why? The reason is because the  weather changes and it's time for us to cover up and "protect" ourselves.  I believe the same is true as it relates to some of the personal things in our life.   It's very important that we access what is ahead for us and then take inventory to prepare by protecting what we know is our purpose and calling. 

Oftentimes we see people that always look successful and we get a little jealous.  What I've learned is you have to put in the time.  There's no short cut to success.  No matter what it is you have to be willing to work your soil, plant, water and then you will be prepared when the harvest comes.  What is it that really touches your heart?  What do you feel you are called to do?  What is it that you keep saying you're going to do, but you keep putting it off?  STOP!  Today is the day for you to make good on the promises you make to yourself!  Love yourself enough to be good to yourself by fulfilling the desires of your heart.  It's a new season!

The key is to keep your focus.  Don't look at what other people are doing, that's their calling.  If you keep your eyes on your own dreams, you will receive the prize.  What do they say, "the grass won't be greener on the other side if you take the time to water your own grass."

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Work While It Is Yet Day

For the past several weeks it seems like every time I turn around someone close to me made their transition from this life to the next.  It's sobering because it really shows the brevity of life.  As I reflect on my childhood growing up with my grandmother she always seemed to be in full motion doing something.  In my childlike tone I would ask her, "why are you always so busy?"  She would respond by saying, "there's a lot of work that needs to be done and it will be night soon."

Of course I didn't totally comprehend what she meant back then, but as I continued to grow and progress through life the scripture found in John 9:4 where it says:  "I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day; the night cometh, when no man can work, " resonated in my ears loud and strong.  What I also find hilarious is that now my children and various friends and family members often say to me, "Wendy go sit down somewhere."  Well, as my grandmother said, I can't because there's much work that needs to be done.

The problem I think with many of us is we are often "busy" but are we really taking care of "business?"  Do we have purpose?  Do we add value?  Do we make the lives of the people we touch better in some kind of way, or are we draining?  Are we negative?  Do we drag people down because in reality we're not really happy with our own lives.

This past week Forgiving For Living held a workshop in Riverside for young ladies between 13 - 18 years old focusing on health and life skills.  Interestingly on the very day we did our workshop a news story broke that stated a sex-trafficking ring was identified right in the Inland Empire.  The story said  "gang members used Inland Empire High Schools to recruit underage girls (12 - 15) to work as prostitutes in the Los Angeles area according to the FBI." 

If we want our lives to matter and mean something we must be mindful of our youth.  So many things that were fought for in previous generations are being destroyed right before our very eyes.  What does that say about us and what we are allowing to happen on our watch?  If you don't know where to begin or what to do regarding "working while it is yet day" start with a young person that crosses your path!

 

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Voter Suppression

Whatever happened to the "lazy days of summer?"  There's so much that needs attention and we shouldn't sit by and not help where we can.  Yes we have to pace ourselves and stay balanced, but I also want to encourage all of us to find something that we can get behind, be informed and help.
 

Recently I've been paying more attention to what's going on regarding "voter suppression."  Our ancestors fought and died for us to vote and now there are measures being taken to try and reverse those victories.  If we think about it the U.S. Constitution and the Voter Registration Act are both being challenged.  Several states across the country are dealing with  strategies to try and discourage voting.  The ones being effected the most are African Americans, Latinos, women and the elderly.  Think about it, who's left?

Part of the tactics being used are imposing burdensome regulations, restricting voter registration, and straight out intimidation. I can't help but wonder why all of this now?  Does it have anything to do with some not wanting  to see a black man serve a second term as President of the United States?  Could hatred today still run that deep?  We also know it goes back to money and power.

If you don't know what to do or how this may affect you and your ability to vote, call your local assembly person's office or your state senator.  You can also contact the voter registration office in your county.  Don't sit on the sidelines and let years of blood, sweat and tears be for nothing.  Ignorance is not an answer.  Dr. King once said, "nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." 

My grandmother lived to be close to a century.  During her lifetime she was active in human and civil rights.  I wouldn't want to face her in heaven and she ask me why didn't I do what I was supposed to do and I then have to ask her for forgiveness.  Who in your life do you have to answer to?

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Summer Is A Great Time To Rest, Relax & Rejuvenate!

Last week I took a very needed vacation to Maui and  had a fabulous time.  There are things in life we are taught are "extras" and sometimes we have to convince ourselves we even deserve such things.  After dealing with so many ups and downs and even some real disappointments in life, I've learned to appreciate and enjoy what life brings whenever possible. 

Years ago I was hit by a truck in a car accident and I was  pregnant with my son Freddie (who is now 23) so you know it was a long time ago.  The Insurance company and my doctor made me get regular massages in order to "relax me and the baby."  Ultimately they wanted to make sure  I didn't go into premature labor and something go wrong with my child and I sue them.  Again, just like a vacation, I felt that a massage was an "extra"  only for special occasions.  However, I realized it was actually a real necessity to help me get through that situation so  I would have a positive outcome (a healthy baby).

I am blessed to travel from time to time and oftentimes it is tied in with work.  This is great, but when you travel for work, your mind is on work (or at least it should be) and you don't have the opportunity to really rest,  relax and  rejuvenate.  If we want to be our best on a regular basis we have to allow ourselves some time to let go and release.  In the 10 Steps of "Healing Without Hate:  How To Forgive To Live, learning to "Release" is step number 4.  I've learned during these times of rest I am able to reflect and take stock of where I am, where I want to go, what I need to do next to accomplish whatever it is on my heart, mind and list. 

Summer is in full swing and now is the time to take life a little slower, if you're not able to take a trip to some exotic destination, we are blessed to live in one of the most sought out destinations in the world, "Sunny Southern California."  Pack up your car, go to the beach, leave your cell phone behind and just enjoy you!  It's also a good time to take inventory of where you are personally half way through the year with the goals you've set for yourself.  It's not too late to get your groove back and finish the year strong, but take some time out to rest, relax and rejuvenate!   This may be the necessity you need in your life right now to get you through.  Release and just let it go!

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Obamacare Yes!

By now most of us have heard about the controversial Affordable Care Act introduced by President Obama that was passed in 2010.  The proponents of this Act guarantees that all Americans would have health care, but mandates that all Americans have health insurance.  We are familiar with this concept because we have to secure car insurance and proof of that insurance if we drive a car.                                                 

This past week the United States Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act, also known as "Obamacare."  What caught a lot of people by surprise in this decision was Chief Justice John Roberts, who's known to be quite conservative, served as the swing vote to make it 5 - 4.  Why is it that the parties have to be so divided on such a matter that is vital for all Americans?  Instead of focusing on repeal and replace can we figure out a way to come together as one and build a stronger health care for all under the current Administration.  

It was brought up and discussed this Act is just a disguise for another tax.  Well don't we have to pay taxes on just about everything in order to have the quality of life we all desire?  We've all heard that where much is given much is required.  We didn't get in this position over night and it won't go away over night.  Although this Act does not go into effect until 2014, we must start preparing now. 

Forgiving For Living, Inc., serves at risk and underserved women and girls that have experienced abuse and or abandonment.  Part of our mission is to help them in the areas of health and life skills.  What better way than for them to be provided a level of peace of mind through the guarantee of health care.

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Lest We Forget

Last week I had the opportunity to travel to Savannah and Charleston for  business and pleasure.  I'm glad I had a chance to not only plant seeds that hopefully will grow into a fruitful  business opportunity, but I was also  able to visit historical sites, take tours throughout the cities, and walk the grounds of Plantations with former slave quarters.  I must admit It was sobering and humbling all at the same time.

This trip was especially touching for me because I'm in the process of working on my family tree and roots (and believe me this takes patience and time).  Although my paternal side of the family is from the South, they are primarily from the state of Texas, however, I remember hearing my grandmother say we had some "Geechee" in our background.  As a child I wasn't  sure what that meant, but as I grew I came to understand that the "Geechee" people came from sections of Louisiana, the Carolinas and Georgia.   This trip allowed me to learn more about this part of my background.

As I walked through the small slave quarters (they were the actual quarters, not replicas, close to 200 years old), I could feel the memories, pain and hopes of our ancestors.  As I journeyed through some of the oldest African American churches in this country, I was able to see holes in the floor in the shape of diamonds that allowed air and sound to pass for those traveling through the underground railroad.  As I visited the Civil Rights Museum I could see the progress we've made as a people, but what I found sad is that with all the ground that's been covered, there's still so much to be done.  I also found a level of prejudice where I actually heard a white tour guide say the slaves  were happy on the Plantations. People on the tour would not speak up (except for me, I had to say something).  I couldn't believe it.  Of course there are a lot of good people in this world, but sometimes if we don't speak up a few bad apples can spoil the whole bunch.

If we're not careful anger and bitterness will build and resume in the hearts and minds of mankind.  Martin Luther King, Jr., once said, "injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." It's up to us to forgive the past, but we must learn from it so we don't allow it to be repeated.  Forgiveness does not mean forgetting.  The Schomburg Center in New York created "Lest We Forget" which documents the triumph over slavery.  Teach our children the truth and let your voice be heard.

 

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

The Train Is Moving Are You On Board?

Recently I had a conversation with a dear friend who shared a quote he received and it said, "If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success."

Overall I do understand what the author means by saying if you can't be with me in the rough times, why would I want to share the good times that come my way after I've put in all of the work.  There are definitely a lot of people that jump on a train only when it's running and moving forward, but as I thought about the whole message, I also feel that it takes some people a moment to even realize what's going on, let alone know to get on board!

Don't write off everyone just because they may have been a little slow with getting on board and understanding your program, dream or vision.  They may be the very caboose you need.  Caboose's were once used and thought of as a functional part of the train.  It is clear that a train can operate without a caboose, but it originally was meant to provide shelter at the rear of the train for those that had to work in the back (which historically we know who that meant). Conductors also often handled business from a table that was located in the caboose and sometimes it had to serve a their living quarters for long trips.  So cabooses serve(d) a purpose.

I recently had the opportunity to travel down South and I visited Savannah, Georgia and Charleston, South Carolina.  While visiting I also learned a lot about the beginnings of the railroad system that was laid across the South and how slave labor and Freedman (free black men) that were incarcerated were used to build these systems.  They were slaves to the railroad.  Historically we've heard a lot about the Pullman Porters, the dining car cooks and waiters, but we've not heard much about the ones who had to do the back breaking work of the digging, construction, and laying track.  This work was not for the faint of heart, many died hard deaths from this work, including women and children.   (You can learn more about it by reading Railroads in the African American Experience by Theodore Kornweibel, Jr.).

I can't go into all that touched me regarding this subject, but more than ever, I want to encourage everyone to learn to forgive a little, the brother or sister who may have been a little slow,  may be the one that saves you down the road when you least expect it. The train is still moving!

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Fahter's Day

According to Wikipedia, Father's Day is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society.  What I find interesting is just a month ago (May),  we celebrated Mother's Day and the stores were packed, the restaurants were standing room only, and more flowers and candy were delivered than any other day of the year.  Whereas for Father's Day many stores  only have two rows of cards in the stationery sections.

There's so much attention given to mothers, and being a mother I appreciate it.  For many, including myself, we had disappointing relationships with our fathers or no relationship.  However, truth be told, we wouldn't exist or be here if we didn't have "fathers."  It takes a man and a woman to bring a child into this world.  For those of you (us) that have strained relationships with our fathers, I encourage you to be bold and make a leap of forgiveness, reconciliation and demonstrate love towards your father this year.  You may say, Wendy you don't know what I've been through, you are correct, I don't, but I know what I went through and how my relationship healed between me and my father after I experienced abuse, because I was willing to extend an olive branch,  so I know there's hope.

Sometimes when people disappoint their loved ones, or themselves for that matter, they don't know how to ask for forgiveness.  Sometimes they may even feel they are too deep to get out.  It all starts with two words, "I'm sorry."  I also want to say for the wonderful men out there that are great fathers, great surrogate fathers  who stand in the shoes where fathers are missing, we applaud you for doing what should be done.

A local "tradition" during Father's Day Weekend is attending the Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl.  An icon associated with this weekend is "TV Dad", Bill Cosby.  So I will close with one of his quotes, "Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing."  So fathers be careful the example you show your children whether you think they are looking or not.  They just may be peeking at you right now!

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Forgiveness Is Not An Emotion, It is a Decision

Life is full of twists and turns and we never know what a day may bring.  This past week my daughter was robbed and my neighbor of 19 years passed away.  I felt so many emotions sweep through me in just 24 hours.  When life hits you with a blow, there's a difference between when it hits another family verses when it hits your own family.  I've also learned that when you stand for something you are constantly being tested!

After I received the call from my daughter and I knew she was okay, I told her to hang up and call the police and her apartment complex management company.  Then my son and I jumped in the car and drove out to be with her and to see exactly what was going on.  As a mother "bear", I had to make sure my "cub" was safe.  When we arrived the police were there doing their investigation and the property management company sent out a handyman to board up the window the intruders broke into and change the locks on her door.  While we were standing there, looking around the place assessing  the damage the intruders did, all I could say was "thank you Lord for protecting my child!"

As usual, my mind took me back to my philosophy on forgiveness.  Once I knew my daughter was okay, I began to tell her we have to be grateful  she was not harmed, broken things can be fixed and stolen things can be replaced, but I could never have another her!  Next, I told her we had to pray for the individual(s) that did this.  Hurt and desperate people do desperate things.  Although I DO NOT condone what this person did, I know that we have to learn to forgive.  Forgiveness DOES NOT mean a perpetrator should go free and not be held accountable. Justice helps with the process of forgiveness, but forgiveness is not based on an emotion, but rather a choice or decision.

A few  days after the incident, I was reading and I ran across a story from Holocaust Survivor, Corrie ten Boom.  Her family died in the concentration camps during the war and later when she survived, she began a ministry of forgiveness helping other survivors.  One day when she was speaking at an event, she came face to face with one of the guards from Ravensbruck, the concentration camp where she and her sister were held.  After she completed her speech, the guard came up to her and told her he was touched by her speech, then he extended his hand and asked her for forgiveness.  He did not remember her specifically, but he still wanted to seek her forgiveness.  Although it was hard for Corrie to take his hand, eventually she did.  Later she shared that forgiveness is an act of the will and that our emotions don't always align with our choices.  I'm grateful we are alive to be the ones that have the opportunity to forgive.

Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Something Better Will Come Along

A couple of months ago after having a discussion with one of my friends she encouraged me to share more about the 10 steps connected to Forgiving For Living, Inc.,  In March I shared the overview, but so much has been in the news that took me away from focusing on discussing the steps, however, recently while reviewing the different posts on my facebook home page I ran across the following quote, "When you finally let go of the past something better comes along."  It was like a light bulb came on and I stopped dead in my tracks.  Why is it something we already know to be true takes a lifetime to understand? I think part of what hit me was the fact it ties into the overall mission of  "Healing Without Hate:  How To Forgive To Live"TM 10 Steps (and specifically step #4).

Step #4 is called RELEASE.  This step talks about the importance of letting the things that hold you back in your life go!  When I am speaking on this subject I often share an exercise that visually (and physically) shows the attendees the power of negative energy and what happens when we hold onto it.  For example, take your hands and ball them up into a tight fist and squeeze as hard as you can for about 10 seconds, then slowly open your hands with your palms faced upward.  As you open your fists, you will feel a light tingly feeling slowly releasing from your hands and really touching your whole body. 

When we hold onto anger, bitterness and unforgiveness we are giving life to negativity and things such as diseases, cancer and pain to grow in our bodies.  However, when we learn to let the past be in the past and forgive those that have offended us (so they no longer have power in your life), we free up our internal bodies to live a better and longer life.

What's interesting is when we think of our personal and professional lives,  the choices and decisions we make, will determine our future and ultimately our destiny.  If we want new things in our lives, we have to let go of the past so that the future has a door to enter.  As my grandmother would say, get out of your own way and stop blocking your blessings!

 Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.

Memorial Day & Hunger Games

This past week my son Freddie and I saw the movie, "Hunger Games."  I know this was a movie many of  you saw weeks ago and I am on the late train.  The story is set in a future where the Capitol selects a boy and a girl from the 12 districts that make up their universe to fight until their death on live television.  The heroine in the movie, Katniss Everdeen, volunteers to take her younger sister's place when she's selected for the latest match.  There are many things that caught my attention in this movie, and like any type of "war" people hate death and ultimately have a compassionate heart towards mankind.

In the movie, Katniss who is from District 12, was helped by a young little black girl that is from District 11 ( the purpose of  "Hunger Games" is  one out of the 24 people that go in will come out a live) so for this young girl from District 11 to help Katniss from District 12, she is sacrificing the possibility of her own life.  A friendship develops and when the young girl from District 11 is killed, Katniss shows compassion towards her through a kind and loving burial.  This also sets the stage for Katniss to have purpose and have a heart to survive.
 

This week I wanted to share a thought regarding Memorial Day and the movie, "Hunger Games" stayed on my mind.  The two have a theme that is intertwined.  We all want to live for a purpose and to survive.

 
Memorial Day is a federal holiday set aside to remember the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.  This holiday has evolved and is now celebrated in several ways from picnics, to fireworks and the decorating of loved ones graves.  As I continued to do some research on this holiday, I also learned something I never knew, blacks in Charleston, also known as "Freedmen,"  organized a May Day ceremony covered by the New York Tribune Newspaper.  Our history tells us that "our" loved ones also served and died in serving our country dating back to the Civil War.   Frederick Douglass said, "Once let the black man get upon his person the brass letter, U.S., let him get an eagle on his button, and a musket on his shoulder and bullets in his pocket, there is no power on earth that can deny that he has earned the right to citizenship."

Although "Hunger Games" was a fictional story, the theme of mankind caring for one another even in the worse of circumstances, is the same even in real life war.   Peter the young man from District 12 in the movie, made the statement that  he did not want to lose who he was, and  even if he was to die, he didn't want "them" (the ones in charge) to think they owned him. 

 
In closing, I want to say thank you to everyone who has fought and died to keep all of us free!
 
Healing Without Hate:  It's a choice. It's a lifestyle. Pass it on!
 

Visit www.WendyGladney.com &  www.forgivingforliving.org.   You can email her at wendy.gladney@gmail.com. Also follow her blog:  Wendygladney.blogspot.com. Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Dominique DiPrima's Front Page Friday Mornings @ 5:00am.